|
My Kind of Town Don Chapman |
Sharks and boobs
>> Kona
Cruz MacKenzie and Nick Ornellas agreed that Cruz ought to tell Mano Kekai that Daren Guy had made it safely back to his boat on the night he'd jumped from Mano's Zodiac, to ease Mano's guilt, but otherwise they'd keep it to themselves for a day or two.
They finished their beers, Cruz paid the bill, bummed a ride to the King Kamehameha. The insurance business must be good, he thought. Ornellas dove a silver-blue Jaguar. As they pulled into the port cochere, Cruz said: "So why did you swear when I mentioned that Sonya has silicone implants?"
"Because," he said, shaking his head, "women with silicone boobs are getting sick and dying right and left. And she's now my client."
"The insurance business is every bit as warm and fuzzy as newspapering, isn't it?"
Ornellas snorted. "Listen, if you see her, ask her to call me. She doesn't know yet about her being the beneficiary."
"Why not?"
"Daren swore me and your friend Don the bartender to secrecy that night. He wanted to surprise Sonya with the news later. Never got the chance."
>> Back in his hotel room, Cruz called the city desk. "Garry, I'm going to need a couple more days here."
"Why," the city editor said, "to play the new course at Kealakekua?"
Cruz had brought along the golf clubs. He always did. Have driver, will travel. But this story wouldn't let him concentrate on anything else. "Of course not. Trust me."
"I'm an editor, it's part of my job description not to trust reporters and to trust columnists even less."
Cruz told Garry about finding Daren's beard and about his insta-insurance policy.
"That's really a long shot," Garry said. "But, OK, one more day."
"Oh, and one other thing. I need a new laptop. The former one is, uh, in several pieces. But it's in good hands."
"Repair shop?"
"No, the police. It's being held as material evidence." Cruz explained about the aborted theft attempt and that if Robert the copy boy could run a new LapFlex to Hawaiian Airlines, Jasmine had agreed to hand-carry it to Kona tomorrow. "Oh, and could you send a copy of whatever clips we have about breast implants."
"You getting lonely over there or what?"
"It's pertinent."
"Sharks and boobs," Garry muttered, strung together six X-rated terms as a compound adjective for columnists and hung up without saying good-bye. Cruz considered him one of the nicer editors he'd worked for.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek. His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin. He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com
