Time for isle
‘lab rat reparations’
It's kind of uplifting, in a bone-chilling, Orwellian sort of way, to know that Hawaii residents were front-line fighters in the Cold War, even if they didn't know it themselves.
Although maybe "fighters" isn't the right word. "Lab rats" might be more accurate.
During the '60s and '70s, the U.S. military needed to test the potential for emerging chemical and biological weapons. Apparently confusing Hawaii with a gigantic petri dish, the Navy spritzed the islands with various bacteria and chemical agents. It was sort of like what happens when you walk into a department store and some lady squirts you with perfume without your permission. Except in our case, the Navy sprayed biological agents north of Pearl City, around Kaneohe Bay and, I guess, put a little dab behind Pele's ear and just a touch along Diamond Head's neckline.
Of course, all the chemicals and bacteria spread around the islands (not to mention their people, pets and plants) were completely safe. That's why it's taken 40 years to get the Pentagon to 'fess up to conducting the experiments. It always takes decades of class-action lawsuits, congressional hearings and the Freedom of Information Act to get the Pentagon to admit that it has done absolutely nothing wrong.
What the Pentagon didn't do wrong was this:
>> In the '60s, spread an almost completely harmless bacteria from a submarine in a pretend attack on the islands. The only problem is that the bacteria actually can be harmful to old people or those with weak immune systems.
>> Released E. coli bacteria in Big Island rain forests to study the effect, apparently, of what happens when you release E. coli bacteria into Big Island rain forests.
>> Contaminated a Navy ship in Pearl Harbor with another bacteria to practice decontaminating a ship suddenly contaminated with bacteria.
>> Experimented with sarin gas on the Big Island. Full disclosure on these tests will be forthcoming. "Forthcoming," in military terms, meaning a few more decades.
THE LONG-TERM effects of all this completely safe testing of chemicals and biological agents on the islands is unknown. Mainly because nobody knew until now that they were being nuked with allegedly harmless materials, there was no way to connect that bothersome coughing spell they had in 1968 with submarines spotted off the Big Island.
Almost as distressing as the news that our own military would use us as guinea pigs in secret projects is that it would give those projects such dorky names as "Folded Arrow," "Blue Note," "Errand Boy" and "Blue Tango." More appropriate names would have been "Future Lawsuit," "What? Me Coli?" and "I Love That Amusing Scent You're Wearing."
It's good to know the tests were entirely safe. Think how long it would have taken to find out about them if they were dangerous.
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Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail
cmemminger@starbulletin.com