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My Kind of Town Don Chapman |
Good news, Mr. Sprinkle
>> Waters off Kohala
Daren had nothing to do but wait, think and stay out of sight. And fish. He did some of his best thinking while fishing. So he tied a marlin lure to the downrigger. It always made him feel better to have a hook in the water. Something good could happen.
At 4:58 p.m., he climbed down into the cabin and turned on the giant TV for the early local news. He watched with a purpose, expecting a brief mention that a search for missing fisherman Daren Guy the Lotto winner was continuing at Kona, similar to mentions he'd heard the past two days.
Instead, Gary Sprinkle gravely led off the news with "Officials confirmed today that Daren Guy, the first million-dollar winner of the state Lotto, was attacked and eaten by a shark at Kona just hours after winning the two-million dollar jackpot."
A video clip of Jonah Hancock holding up Daren Guy's half-eaten nylon neon lime shorts at a press conference appeared on the screen.
"Shark-eaten," Hancock said. "Definitely shark-eaten."
He let out a loud "Yes!" and pumped his fist like Tiger Woods. He knew where the other half was.
Sprinkle reappeared on the screen and said: "Lotto officials said today they are not sure what happens to Guy's two million dollars and are checking the rules. KITV also contacted the state Attorney General. He had no comment, except to say that he is looking into the Lotto law."
He'd taken care of what would happen to Daren Guy's Lotto money. The A.G. didn't know about the insurance policy. He watched the rest of the news expecting the worst, but there was no report of Pet Shop being missing or lost or stolen. He smiled to himself as Sprinkle turned to the governor's arm-wrestling victory over the mayor, no news truly is good news.
And the story about the shark eating Daren Guy, that was wonderful news! That would make everything so much easier once he got off this boat.
And then the ship-to-shore crackled again and the blue light blipped:
"Calling Pet Shop, calling Pet Shop. Free Delivery calling Pet Shop." Pause.
"Hey, Paul, it's Roger. Where the hell are you?"
He's right here, but not for long, Daren thought as he turned the yacht toward Maui.
>> International waters
The big ship was approaching the 200-mile territorial boundary, which meant it was nearly time to make radio contact with the American vessel, the infamous yacht Pet Shop. With a sea breeze in his face, Sushi Leclaire smiled some more. The beauty of his plan was that the infamy of the boat provided the perfect cover for smuggling beautiful Asian girls into America. It would look like business as usual.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek. His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin. He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com