|
Honolulu Lite Charles Memminger |
Garcia dishes out aloha
with his fists
in new surf show
Most of the so-called "reality TV" shows have one thing in common: There's at least one or two cast members that you'd like to reach out and smack.The cool thing about the new Hawaii-based reality show called "Boarding House: North Shore" is that pro surfer Sunny Garcia does the smacking for you.
The show is about seven professional surfers, men and women who share a gorgeous North Shore beach house. It's a tried-and-true formula based on MTV's long-running "Real World" series in which you throw a bunch of strangers into a house together and watch them whine and stab each other in the back while the cameras are rolling.
In "Boarding House," Garcia -- a tough, surf-battle-hardened waterman who sees the North Shore as his turf -- is one of seven housemates. The rest of cast include ... well, who cares. It was clear from the premiere episode of the show this week that this is Sunny's house and this is Sunny's show.
Sporting enough tattoos to impress the head of the Yamaguchi-gumi yakuza family, Sunny spends the first episode -- and apparently most of the upcoming second -- grousing about the "idiots" who dare to live on HIS North Shore and surf HIS waves. When one idiot drops in on a wave he caught first, Sunny orders him to leave the water. The guy does because, you know, it's Sunny's ocean.
He smacks another guy on the beach for reasons that I didn't catch, but I assume the idiot had violated the Sunny Prime Directive: Stay out of My Way. He challenges a drunk to fight after that idiot said something to Sunny's wife at a nightclub, and, I have to go with Sunny here, the dope was asking for it. The guy was so drunk he thought he could beat up a professional athlete. The cops showed up right when Sunny was about to hang 10 on his face.
THERE'S SOME SURFING, too. But that's not what the show is really about. The show is about sticking an alpha male in a house with a couple of beta male pro surfers and a couple of blond surfer chicks. You don't need Jane Goodall to figure out what's going to happen.
The thing is, Sunny's a good guy when he's not pissed off. And he really, really tries not to go medieval on anyone's okole. But there are so many idiots and so few waves. Plus, he's a legendary surf champ battling age (he's 32), injuries (he tore up his leg on a motorcycle) and younger pros to remain on the top of the surfing heap.
He's the only Hawaiian on the show, and so Hawaii tourism officials likely are not too thrilled that he dishes out aloha with two fists. It probably (painfully) reminds them of Ruthie, the only Hawaiian in the cast of "Real World Hawaii." She was mean and nasty when she was drunk, which she was for most of the series. And she upchucked a lot.
I'm not saying that these reality TV shows that come to Hawaii should cast "ambassadors of aloha" like Danny Kaleikini as house members, but there must be a way to show mainland viewers that there are Hawaiians here who won't throw up on you or punch your lights out if you come to the islands.
Once again, "reality TV" doesn't show reality. But at least when you feel a cast member should get smacked, Sunny's on the case.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com