|
Alo-Ha! Friday Charles Memminger |
Hawaii’s feet smell
sweetest -- sort ofHawaii has received the dubious honor of being named the state with the "sweetest-smelling feet."
Dubious, because the de-stink-tion is bestowed by the company that makes Odor-Eaters, those things you put in your shoes to keep your feet from stinking up the place. And Hawaii won because our state "has the highest per capita consumption of Odor-Eaters in the nation," according to a company release. In fact, Hawaii uses more than twice the number of Odor-Eaters than any other state.
I hate to tell you folks, but when a state depends on a product to keep residents' feetsies from stinking, it DOESN'T have the sweetest-smelling feet.
And now the news:
Simpatico beats aloha
LONDON (Reuters) >> It's crowded and dangerous, but Rio de Janeiro is the friendliest city in the world, according to a California State University study. "It all comes down to simpatico, a Brazilian word that describes a person who possesses certain qualities such as friendliness and openness," explained a researcher.(Yeah, but how do his feet smell?)
Monster of a coincidence
BERLIN (Reuters) >> German police are investigating the discovery of a headless body near castle Frankenstein, a ruin many see as the inspiration for the novel about the mad scientist who made a monster from body parts.Local police said any connection between the gothic castle and the decapitated man was "absurd."
(Other than the fact that the decapitated man was found, well, at Frankenstein's castle, that is.)
Docs hatch beetle study
NEW DELHI (Reuters) >> A 13-year-old boy has begun producing winged beetles in his urine after hatching the eggs in his body, doctors say."We were really surprised to see beetles," said Dr. Chittaranjan Maity, one of the doctors who examined the boy.
("You think YOU were surprised," the boy replied.)
Students get wake-up call
BERLIN (Reuters) >> Children who snore perform worst at school, German scientists have found.(Those semiconscious don't do much better.)
'Honolulu Lite' on Sunday:
Hawaii pro surfer Sunny Garcia serves up aloha with two fists in a new reality TV show based on the North Shore. The country hasn't seen such a sensitive portrayal of Hawaiians since a drunken Ruthie puked her way into national prominence on MTV's "Real World Hawaii." The Hawaii Tourism Authority must be very proud.
Quote me on this:
"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing." -- Robert Benchley
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com