[ MAUKA MAKAI ]
PHOTO BY JULIE ARAGAKI
"Life is precious. You can't take anyone or anything for granted," Brandy Williams said after the death in Iraq of her husband, Sgt. Eugene Williams. Brandy Williams now faces raising two children alone, including Mya, above.
One day at a time
After tragedy, a young widow
must pick up the pieces aloneBuilding morale one 'hen' at a time
Life can change in an instant. In a moment an illness or accident can turn "life as we know it" into something unrecognizable.
Brandy Williams' world was turned upside down when she learned of her husband Sgt. Eugene William's death. "Life is precious. You can't take anyone or anything for granted," said Brandy. "It can happen to anyone."
Eugene Williams was killed March 29 in Iraq while assisting a cabdriver in distress, who turned out to be a suicide bomber. The attack north of Najaf killed Williams and three other soldiers.
At first, being in the public eye was difficult, she said. "The media was camped outside our house. When it first happened, it was hard for me to talk about it."
After the initial shock wore off, she welcomed the kindness of strangers. "People I don't even know have been so wonderful and helpful," she said. "We got so many calls and notes of sympathy," added Lynne Dela Cruz, Williams' mother.
Recently, several businesses in the community banded together to give her a baby shower. Williams, who is now raising 3-year-old daughter Mya alone, was six months pregnant when her husband died. She's due June 12.
PHOTO BY JULIE ARAGAKI
Alison Hayashi readies Brandy Williams for a complimentary photo shoot from Julie Aragaki.
Photographer Julie Aragaki, of Moments ... Memories, called Williams to set up a pregnancy photography session. She also arranged for Alison Hayashi to provide a makeover prior to the photo shoot.
"I admired her strength and courage. She was so composed for someone so young and yet who had been through so much in such a short time," said Aragaki. "I wanted to give her a special day. So, I called several businesses and explained Brandy's situation, and they were totally willing to help."
Due to the circumstances, Williams didn't expect a shower at all and said the surprise shower was a blessing. "Things have been so hectic. I didn't feel like shopping."
She received a variety of items including haircuts, facials, baby items and gift certificates through the generosity of businesses such as ABC Stores, Aloha Airlines, Beauty by Yvonne, Gerber, Hair by Debbie, Johnson & Johnson, Flowers by Junior Lou & T, Kahala Kids, Kelsey's Baby Specialties, Makana Mother & Baby and Ward Centre. Aragaki said donations are still being collected.
AS EACH DAY passes, Williams says her life is getting closer to "normal." "I have lots of family and friends here. My family has been so supportive. I don't know what I would do without them."
PHOTO BY JULIE ARAGAKI
One of her biggest trials was returning to Fort Stewart, Ga., to pack up the house she and husband shared before returning to Hawaii shortly after her husband was sent to Iraq.
"It was so weird. All of his things were there," she said. "The military was so helpful -- they offered to pack everything for me. But, I felt like it was something I needed to do myself."
While in Georgia, she attended a memorial service for the fallen American soldiers. "They planted trees for all of the soldiers who died," she said. "They planted a rose bud tree next to a plaque with his name."
Although the Williams' daughter, Mya, has been told that her father will not be returning home, she doesn't fully understand the concept. "She had a really hard time in the beginning," Williams said. "She gets confused when we visit his grave."
Williams hopes to keep the memories of Mya's father alive. They were close and spent lots of time together. He was a loving husband and father, she said.
"We have pictures all over the place. Hopefully, Mya will remember him and she can share stories with the baby," she said. "I just want them to know that he loves them even though he is not here."
Mya and her mom make regular visits to his grave at Mililani Memorial Park. "My dad really likes red flowers and (Starburst) candy," said Mya. "I bring my dad chicken nuggets and french fries, but I don't know if he eats them."
Mya is excited about being a big sister. Williams plans to name the baby Monica Shyann Nicole Williams -- names Eugene had chosen. Although Williams says she often feels like slinking away and crying when in public, she feels the need to remain strong for her daughter's sake. Recently, Mya drew a picture for her dad and took it to the cemetery.
"Mya misses her dad a lot," said Williams. "I don't know what to say. ... I just tell her that we all do."
Donations for Brandy Williams' baby are still being accepted. Call Julie Aragaki of Moments ... Memories Photography at 239-2467. City Bank has also opened an account to benefit Williams' daughters Mya and Monica Shyann Nicole. Donations are being accepted at all branches and can be made payable to: Family of the late Eugene Williams.
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PHOTO COURTESY OF THE WET HENS
Amy Cawvey, in the red vest, says the Wet Hens sailing classes provide a great outlet for wives of deployed soldiers.
Building morale --
one ‘hen’ at a time
Military wives took to the sea in the 1960s and have been going strong ever since.
In 1961 a group of Air Force wives learned to sail, according to Sally Fortson. "The group (known as the Wet Hens) followed the philosophy of longtime supporter Lou Foster, who was known as their 'ornery old rooster,'" said Fortson, a current Wet Hen sailing instructor.
Foster was harbormaster at the time, and the women bugged him like a bunch of cackling hens, according to Wet Hen skipper Amy Cawvey. The women started sailing with a 22-foot Star boat they refurbished themselves.
Foster believed that in order to have strong soldiers, their families -- miles away from home -- needed to be kept happy.
"At that time, most of the wives were stay-at-home moms, and sailing was more of a man's sport," Cawvey said. She took her first class when her husband was sent to Korea on a year-long assignment.
"During the recent war in Iraq, some of our students' husbands were deployed for the war," she said. "I feel our program was a great outlet for them.
"Women can lose interest in sailing because it's highly dominated by men. Our program teaches women in a nonthreatening environment. We bring in a social aspect and support each other during military life."
Some active-duty women also rearrange their schedules to take the class, she added.
"The course is not easy," said Fortson. "The students must deal with the elements, learn a whole new vocabulary and perform a highly physical activity. Knots and wind theory must be mastered to pass the class."
The Wet Hen instructors are all volunteers and come from all branches of service. Students come from varying backgrounds and attend classes for a variety of reasons, said Fortson. "For some the class provides a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Once the class is over, they may never set foot on a boat again.
"For others the class kindles a passion for sailing and the sea that will never leave them."
The instructors enjoy watching the students' progress. "Some ladies develop an awareness that they can do anything if they try hard. Watching their confidence grow is a source of delight for the instructors."
The Wet Hens today lead very different lives than those of the original groups, yet they are alike in many ways, said Fortson. "A love of sailing provides a common bond, and today's women are as dedicated and committed as those who started it all.
"At almost any base in the world, you will find someone who has benefited from the Wet Hen experience," she said.
Many women who participate in the class form lifetime friendships, even though there is a high turnover of instructors because people are continually reassigned, according to Cawvey.
Even so, they're never far away. "Every five years, previous Wet Hen instructors travel from all over the world for our reunions," Cawvey said. "We share great memories of teaching sailing at Hickam Harbor."
Military wives and women who are on active duty in the military are eligible to sign up for the Wet Hens sailing course. The cost is $80 for a 10-week course that meets once a week. Call Amy Cawvey at 421-1008.
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