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’Net Junkie Shawn "Speedy" Lopes |
Hype doesn’t help
feeble film sequelsReports say the new "Matrix Reloaded" flick grossed a record-breaking $158.3 million in its first week. So why haven't I encountered a single soul who enjoyed version 2.0 as much as the lauded original? Why, after enduring disappointing sequel after sequel, have we not realized that by watching Hollywood's regurgitated sludge, we are encouraging it to keep churning out hastily-produced, ill-conceived and just plain bad movies?
Often we're seduced, or perhaps brainwashed, by the great hype machine. Other times, we are so taken with the original, we simply want to believe its successor will be equally enjoyable. The truth is, it'll probably suck.
As E! Online notes, "All too often, part deux is part doo-doo." Check out their Top 10 Worst Sequels of All Time at www.eonline.com/Features/Topten/Worstsequels, which includes such indigestible fare as "Look Who's Talking Too," a real stinker of a movie that relies on talking babies and poop jokes for its biggest (and they're not that big) laughs; "Jaws: The Revenge" ("This time it's personal"), in which a shark seeks out Mario Van Peebles. Need I say more?; "Caddyshack II" (a monstrous flop which seems to appear on everyone's worst list) and the ridiculously overblown, underdeveloped "Star Wars: Episode 1 -- The Phantom Menace."
Of course, everyone has their own opinion, and at www.epinions.com/content_2685378692, you'll find more suggestions on films to avoid, including "Superman IV: The Quest For Peace," "Big Top Pee Wee" and 1993's "Weekend at Bernie's 2" (yes, Bernie's still dead and they're still lugging his corpse around!).
Www.schlockmagazine.com would like to add "The Godfather Part III," "Creepshow 2," "Airplane II," "Ghostbusters 2," "Cannonball Run II," "Revenge of the Nerds II" and "Grease 2" to that list, while fantasyfilmleague.com makes a great argument for the inclusion of "Mission: Impossible 2," "Back to the Future 2," "The Mummy Returns" and "Jurassic Park: The Lost World." Might I also add that we could have all saved a lot of time and money waiting for "Meatballs Part II" (complete with pint-sized pot-smoking aliens) and the "Porky's" trilogy to hit video shelves.
In fact, I suggest the next time an overhyped flick gets shoved down our throats, we wait until it shows up on cable. At least then we can change the channel.
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’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.
Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.
