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My Kind of Town Don Chapman |
Meg the Divine
>> Turtle Bay
The cult of St. Meg the Divine began with extreme photographer Johnny B. Goo's front-page photo in the Star-Bulletin's early edition. Johnny B's focus had been the unconscious Chookie Boy Kulolo and the frustrated looks on the faces of paramedics unable to revive him after he was crushed by a 45-foot rogue wave during The Eddie. But just as Johnny B fired, an incredibly gorgeous middle-age Chinese woman wearing a low-cut swimsuit leaned in, a beatific look on her face, and with one delicate forefinger touched Chookie Boy's left big toe. It jolted him like electro-shock. In Johnny B's photo, you could see an aura around the woman's head and waves of energy rippling across Chookie Boy. The caption identified her by name and said paramedics credited her with saving the surfer's life, and that he was later released from Kahuku General.
After a rapturous night at Turtle Bay, Meg Choy Primitivo and Chookie Boy were just being seated for breakfast at the Palm Terrace when a woman at a nearby table whispered, "It's her!"
She was Joy Star, not her real name, one she adopted after taking up a vegetarian life of meditation and truth-seeking. This pursuit (made possible by her daddy, who was big in the oil biz and was pals with Dick Cheney, and figured he was one up on the VP because while his daughter was a goofball at least she liked boys) had led her to Oahu's North Shore. And now Joy Star showed the newspaper to her companion Sunny Day and pointed to this same goddess just a few feet away. "It is her," he agreed. And suddenly they were kneeling before Meg, heads bowed, extending pointed forefingers, Joy reverently pleading, "Please, goddess, we seek your touch."
Meg didn't get it. "What're you ...?"
"Please," Sunny said, handed Meg the paper.
There's no shock quite like seeing yourself unexpectedly on Page One. "Oh my god ..."
As she handed the paper back, Meg's fingers brushed Joy's, and she exclaimed "I felt it! I felt your power!" Sunny reached out, touched Meg's hand. "I felt it too! Your power is real!"
Chookie, who knew the power -- and pleasure -- of Meg's touch watched in wonder as other diners lined up at their table, seeking her healing touch. Later Meg the Divine would be credited with curing cancer, arthritis, acid reflux disease, warts and high cholesterol.
But her concentration wandered. This was the room where her husband Victor slipped the girl a date rape drug. And all of her senses were telling her that Victor and the girl were not far away.
"I'm famished, can we order now?" Meg the Divine said. "Then I need to make a call."
Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek.
His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin
with weekly summaries on Sunday.
He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com