Honolulu Lite
Charles Memminger
A touch of Monty
Python in BaghdadAmid the bombing, tank fire and machine-gun blasts in Baghdad stood the unlikely Muppet Mohammed Sahid Al Saha, the preposterous Iraqi "minister of information" excoriating coalition forces with glee and denying reality with a zeal seldom found outside of your finer insane asylums.
When Saha appeared with his black beret, Play-Doh complexion and manic arm movements, you had the feeling you were watching a Jim Henson production, not a press conference smack in the middle of a raging battle. Well, not exactly raging. U.S. troops moved into Baghdad with little evidence that the Elite Republican Guard or even the Pretty Good Republican Guard existed.
To the joy of Arab TV viewers and confusion of Westerners, Saha claimed images of Americans taking the Baghdad airport were fake, that tanks were not actually rolling into the city and, in fact, the war was going just the way Iraq had planned. It was one of those "We've got them exactly where they want us" moments.
While some commentators thought Saha was trying out for a spot on "Saturday Night Live," I felt his performance was more Monty Python. In fact, his press briefings played like the scene in which King Arthur takes on the Black Knight in the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail":
Reporter: Coalition forces have taken over the airport.I was disappointed to see the information minister didn't show up yesterday after Baghdad clearly had fallen. I wanted him to come out, take a bow.
Saha: No, they haven't.
Reporter: They've blown the Republican Guard to bits.
Saha: It's just a flesh wound.
Reporter: Look, there are nothing but body parts around the city.
Saha: We've had worse.
Reporter: You stupid bastard, you've no tanks left!
Saha: Yes we have.
Reporter: They're all on fire!
Saha: We'll burn you with them.
Reporter: They just blew up the palace.
Saha: No they didn't. That was a car backfiring.
Reporter: I can see American tanks from here going down Main Street.
Saha: A-ha! They've had it now!
Reporter: A tank shell just ripped your body in half!
Saha: 'Tis but a scratch.
Reporter: Now your bloody head is lying on the ground.
Saha: OK, we'll call it a draw.
Reporter: You're a loony.
Saha: Where you going? Come back here! I'll bite your legs off!He provided comic relief at a time when death and destruction rained down around him. I suspect he had no choice. It was either deal with the bad reviews of his performance by media critics or get a bullet in the back of the head by one of Saddam's goons. Under those conditions, the Saha Show, however bizarre, had to go on.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com