’Net Junkie
Shawn "Speedy" Lopes
Recently, I met a guy who had what I thought was the worst job in the world. He worked for an industrial cleaning company in Denmark, which required of him, among other things, sanitizing crime scenes and apartments of people who had died at home. I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say I came away with a profound sense of gratitude to these odd-jobbers whose occupations I'd never even given a thought to. If you thought
your job was bad ...Although he planned to quit within a year's time, he said it wasn't all bad. He at least received a decent salary. This got me to wondering what the world's worst job on earth really was and how bad it might actually be. After logging on to www.worstjob.com, I'm not any closer to figuring that one out, but I have gained a much greater appreciation for the old nine-to-fiver.
Each year, worstjob.com holds a contest to find the most underappreciated laborers in America and the world. This year's top world (outside the U.S.) vote-getter is a nurse from Australia who makes less than the janitors at her hospital. An overworked Canadian driving instructor and an underpaid assistant chef from Iceland aren't far behind her in the rankings.
Still, these folk seem to have it made compared to some of the entrants in the American category. There's the porta-potty cleaner, the death-defying electrician, the disgruntled adult video store clerk, the dollar store manager ("Imagine day after day, hour after hour, answering the same question: Is this a dollar? Yes-yes-yes!") and the minimum-wage burnt potato chip picker.
"This may not sound like a bad job, but it is," states one hospital information desk greeter. "In the course of a year, I've been spat at, punched, hit in the head with a telephone, thrown up on, stabbed with a blood sugar testing needle (which required a year of testing for HIV) and I've been called every foul name in the book." As if that weren't enough, she's also had the misfortune of attracting not one, but two stalkers, both of whom have since been issued restraining orders.
The asbestos remover clearly believes he has last year's winner -- the prison guard -- beat, hands down. "I crawl around in dirt, grime, spiders, etc. All the while in my underwear with an air-tight suit and a very uncomfortable respirator. I would be a prison guard any day of the week," he writes. "P.S.: Did I mention taking showers with other men at the end of the day?"
’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.
Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.
