Exchanges make ties
that bind -- and gag

Wider horizons

---

By Lisa Bevis
Honolulu Waldorf High School

You can have no conception of how much you don't know -- and never want to know -- about a group of people until you've lived in a foreign country with them for seven weeks. My class went to Switzerland, and, to coin a phrase, we've never been the same since.

We raised the money for the trip and did an exchange with a 10th-grade Waldorf class in Zurich. It was cold and extremely beautiful. Our host families were very friendly in general, and the foreign language was difficult at first but became easier. Public transportation was unnaturally fast and on time, and the city itself was amazing. We spent days there and never got to see everything.

I wish I could say that my class started out as a group of squabbling individuals and, through the trip, was transformed into a perfect family. The truth, however, is not quite as simple.

Imagine being locked in one small room with a person for a week. You ignore him, become bored and then begin talking to him. You're surprised at what you learn and begin to feel close to him. Soon, however, his laugh becomes annoying, you hate the way he never keep his hands still and you're about to kill him if he says "Dude!" one more time. Now imagine that closet expanding to fit 19 people. That was my class.

It's not as if my class was ever a perfect little sitcom group of friends. We have a history of cliques, but many of our families and teachers hoped that going to a foreign country would help us "surpass our differences."

It really seemed as if their hopes would be realized, at least in part, during the first few weeks of our trip. People who hadn't spoken since "sandbox days" found themselves hanging out together. Being in a place where 99 percent of the people around you speak a foreign language really makes you value the people who speak English. That, along with the confusion of a new school and doing class activities outside of school, seemed to be tying us closer together. Without even realizing it, we were learning more about one another.

Within a few weeks, however, the novelty of overall friendship wore off. Three groups began to emerge. At first they were not unfriendly, but as time progressed, the groups began to annoy and then avoid each other.

A visit to Italy forced us to spend even more time together. While this seemed to unite some people, others were just about to kill each other by the end of the trip. The stress was showing. When we returned from Italy, even the people within the three groups were beginning to get sick of each other.

My class is now halfway through junior year, and lately I've noticed something very strange. Kids who have nothing in common, who hated each other in the past, are able to be civil, even friendly!

After contemplating such an odd transformation, I've decided that, back in Switzerland, we really did acquire an understanding of each other and the dynamics of the group we make up. Even if we're not a perfect, happy family, we're a group -- maybe even friends.

And that's kinda cool.

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