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The Goddess Speaks

Celise Nakakura

She feels love without
getting gift of flowers

Last week Wednesday was Valentine's Day. Wait, or was it Thursday? I have no idea because for me it was just like every other day.

I realize that I've "grown up" because in the past, Valentine's Day meant a lot. A LOT. It was validation that I was loved and that I was special to someone. If my significant other did not get me anything for Valentine's Day or did not plan a romantic, expensive dinner, there was a lot of ice to melt -- and some groveling to be done.

Then two years ago, something changed. I knew that my husband was going to be away on business for Valentine's Day and I expected nothing from him. Of course, he could have pre-ordered flowers to be delivered, but I expected nothing. Oops, I forgot, he did send me an e-card!

On Valentine's Day, I happened to be out walking throughout Downtown Honolulu during various times of day. For once, I did not feel any jealousy toward the recipients of the dozens of floral arrangements being hastily dropped off by harried delivery people. In the "old" days I would secretly hope that the delivery person would be going to my office. But that year, I smiled to myself and mentally congratulated the person who would feel loved. Amazingly, instead of feeling worthless and unloved, it didn't matter to me. I knew deep inside me that I was loved.

I'VE GROWN TO realize that love is expressed every day and usually exhibited in mundane ways. I just needed to learn how to see everyday occurrences as acts of love.

I know am loved because every night my husband is away on business, he calls me to say good night. I know now that when he volunteers to go to Costco, he's trying to take an errand off my hands. I realize that his numerous business trips and long working days are acts of love to provide us a comfortable home. There are so many other little things he does to express his love that I can't list them all.

It took me a long time to interpret these things as "love" but I think I am finally getting it. My husband does not have to spend an extraordinary amount of money on flowers on a holiday that really does not have any significance for us, as it doesn't make me feel any more loved than any other day of the year. I would much prefer to be remembered on our wedding anniversary or the day of our first date.

The most significant proof our love for each other is our cute, sassy little 5-year-old and 20-month-old daughters. With these two beautiful, precious blossoms, who needs a bunch of roses in a vase to feel loved? Not me!

Celise Nakakura is an insurance adjuster, and having hired a babysitter and gone out to a romantic dinner with her husband last week, just plans to cuddle up at home Friday night.

The Goddess Speaks is a Tuesday feature by and
about women. If you have something to say, write
"The Goddess Speaks," 7 Waterfront Plaza, Suite 210, Honolulu 96813;
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