My Kind of Town
My Kind of Town
>> Queen's Medical Center The Gospel of Ego
Sitting on her former cousin Quinn's bed, Lily Ah Sun saw his jaw drop, not believing what he'd just heard. She spoke for both of them. "Would you say that again?"
"Absolutely," her now half-brother Laird said with the puffed up fervor of a recent convert. "Christian X.O. St. James just helped me realize what's most important in life, and it's me. Me and my needs."
"That's what I thought he said," Quinn said as if Laird were already gone.
Lily was incredulous. "You're going to leave your father now? Just after his heart attack? When he wants you to take over the Soap Company?"
"After talking with Christian X.O. St. James, yes," Laird said in a rapturous tone, all hail his holy name.
"Who?" Quinn wondered.
"The author of 'Jesus Was A CEO: The Gospel of Acquisitions,'" Laird replied. "It changed my life."
"Also the author," Lily said, "of 'Jesus Was Straight, Mister: And You'd Better Be Too!' Which is what brought Laird home, to preach to Lance."
Oblivious of her sarcasm, Laird felt the need to spread the good news he'd just received. "And X.O. told me he has a new book coming out, 'Jesus Was An Egoist: Dying Was the Best Thing for His Future.' He makes the excellent point that Jesus's death was all about him. It's what he needed to do. It was for himself! And that's the ultimate lesson!"
Lily didn't get it. "That dying is good for you?"
"Not for everyone. But it worked for Jesus."
"He's not kidding, is he?" Quinn half-whispered.
"Where would Jesus have been if he wasn't crucified? Would he have followers all over the world today? How many books about him would have been written? How many paintings? How many songs? You see, dying is what made Jesus!"
"I always thought it was the resurrection," Lily said.
"Well, of course, that came later, but only because he seized his future and chose what was best for him, the path of death."
"This is some seriously strange s---," Quinn said.
"No s---," Lily agreed. They spoke the same language.
"So, Laird, you're really going off to Afghanistan to teach Christianity and capitalism to the mujahadeen?" she said.
"I'm on a red-eye tonight."
"Sounds like the path of death to me," Quinn said.
"Oh no! This will open doors for me! This is the best thing for me. And the daily contact with X.O., I'll learn so much."
Lily shook her head. "The MBA from Stanford didn't seem to help."
Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek.
His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin
with weekly summaries on Sunday.
He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com