Honolulu Lite
Honolulu Lite
Neil and Dan on
cyber auction blockThe good news for Congressman Neil Abercrombie is that a racist "white pride" organization apparently is no longer using his name as its Internet Web site address. The bad news is that neilabercrombie.com is up for sale on the Internet auction site eBay. But the other good news is that Abercrombie could actually buy the address for himself. But the other bad news is that he'd have to pay at least $399.
Confused? I know I am. But I exist in a continual comfortable cloud of confusion, so it's no big deal. Let me see, however, if I can clear up the matter for those of you who prefer to exist in a less chaotic frame of mind.
In order to have a Web site, you have to have a Web address. For instance, the address for this newspaper's excellent Web site is starbulletin.com. There are millions of Web sites, so all the best Web addresses, like sex.com, taco.com and alektorophobia.com, have all been snagged. That means if you wanted to start a Web site for people who have an abnormal fear of chickens, you'd be out of luck.
In surfing around on the Internet, I accidentally discovered last week that neilabercrombie.com does not belong to our congressman of the same name, but to the National Association for the Advancement of White People, a racist organization that is politically as far from "our" Neil Abercrombie's political views as Poughkeepsie is from Pluto.
Neil's people in Washington, D.C., weren't jubilant to find out this bit of news. But because registering Web sites is basically a first-come, first-served situation, there wasn't much they could do about it.
I HAVE NO IDEA why, but since I broke the story, neilabercrombie.com no longer is home to the white whackos. If you type in that address now, you find yourself at an eBay action site where a cyberpirate apparently has registered the names of senators, congressmen and governors and is offering them for resale to anyone interested. Not only is neilabercrombie.com offered for a minimum bid of $399, but danielinouye.com is for sale for $499. U.S. Sen. Daniel Inouye must be happy to know his name is worth a hundred bucks more than the junior congressman's.
The site selling the names of politicians, including one for House Speaker Denny Hastert, proclaims: "Owning the names of politicians is protected free speech. Use them to critisize (their spelling), to opine, to hold politicians accountable ... use your imagination."
I don't want to be one to "critisize" these entrepreneurs, but judges around the country are coming down hard on cyberpirates who register famous or trademarked names with the idea of selling them to the highest bidder.
I should point out that I was accused of being a cyberpirate by someone who wanted the address nomayo.com, which I owned. A federal magistrate, however, specifically ruled I was not a pirate and nomayo.com was mine, a move that has allowed me to continue my headlong plunge toward financial ruin in connection with that hateful Internet venture.
I suppose Abercrombie or Inouye could sue to win possession of their own names, but the legal bills would be much higher than the price the pirates are demanding. Whatever they decide, they'd better move fast before some group like the Varmint Torturers League uses its imagination and buys their names.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com