The Goddess Speaks
The Goddess Speaks
Seems we never get sick
of ‘Cinderella’ storiesWith the opening of the film "Maid in Manhattan," I cheerfully advised a colleague, "Here's your chance to tell readers exactly how you feel about the 'Cinderella' story."
I'd gotten earful after having gone to see "Sweet Home Alabama" -- another take on the Cinderella tale -- and heaven forbid, I enjoyed it, which caused much jeering among males in the office.
One guy's take is that such stories in which hapless -- yet beautiful -- women struggle to make it and find a shortcut through their love lives do girls a disservice by suggesting that someday a prince will come to their rescue.
"It just sets them up with this false hope," he said. "It's another one of the cruel lies we were taught as children.
"Men can't live up to it and women will never get it. These films do nothing but propagate the myth that women are nothing but objects for men to obtain.
"Basically, women are being duped. They're being brainwashed from infancy into objectifying themselves.
"But I can't tell people that or they'll hate me."
The big chicken. Buk buk.
AS A THINKING woman, I know I'm not supposed to like the Cinderella story, one that's actually universal. The difference between global versions and the American one is that around the world, the heroine escapes her dreary situation through smarts and ingenuity. In the American story, her looks are her ticket.
Cinderella's story was wrapped in a sugar coating by Mr. Happy Endings himself, Walt Disney, to become an all-American story of the triumph of good over evil, the power of love (or physical attraction) and our inalienable right to advance to our rightful station in life, which is always a couple of rungs above our current station.
The result, since the '50s, has been pathological dissatisfaction and a crazed chase for more, bigger, better in everything from cars to McMansions to super-deluxe bodies full of Botox and implants.
The story is so ingrained in American culture that most of us don't realize the roots of our yearnings.
Knowing this, do I wish I'd never heard the story?
No, because I knew it was a story. And while I hoped for a prince, I was always pretty grounded. Surveying the classroom landscape at Waipahu Elementary, I understood few of these little boys would ever grow up to be princely, but that was OK because I was a little too rough-edged to be a princess.
Well, actually I am a princess, just not one of the precious "save me" variety. I was lucky to have parents who stressed education long before advancing the notion of marrying a "nice Chinese doctor."
IT'S EASIER for little boys to see Cinderella for what it is, just another story. I asked another guy what he thought of the story when he first heard it as a boy, and it was certainly not a life-changing experience.
"I thought the stepsisters were evil, and I felt sorry for her because it was a messed-up situation," he said.
"You didn't feel like you could save her or grow up to be someone who could save her?"
"No."
Whereas it's easy for little girls to identify with Cinderella and want to be protected, it's a giant leap for a little boy -- still coddled by his mommy -- to identify with the prince. And if he did, he'd likely be too delusional to be desired.
In the meantime it's OK for J.Lo to pretend she's Cinderella on film. In real life she is one who, since finding fame and fortune, plays up her scrappy Bronx roots.
But parents, do your kids a favor and tell them yes, she has a certain degree of looks and talent, but she also worked hard to get where she is. As a result, she's got her pick of princes, even if she, too, seems to have trouble discerning them from frogs.
Nadine Kam is editor of the Today section.
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