Alo-Ha! Friday
Governor ended election
with a touch of crassIt will be interesting to see if Gov. Ben Cayetano actually will help Republican governor-elect Linda Lingle's transition into office considering that even as the election was coming to a close, he was still calling her names. On one radio station just as the polls closed the governor called Lingle a "Stepford Wife," referring to the brain-dead robot women featured in the classic 1975 Katherine Ross movie "The Stepford Wives." We're really gonna miss that kind of class emanating from the governor's office.
Now the news:
Rodent on the rampage
LONDON (Reuters) >> A squirrel is spreading terror in a Cheshire town where it keeps attacking people. Children have been attacked, grown men chased, and residents are fearful of letting their kids out to play."Everyone is living in fear," said resident Blanche Kellye. "It's a vicious little thing. I'll never trust squirrels again."
(A Cheshire cat has been brought in to hunt the rogue squirrel but so far has only sat around smiling.)
No fruit flames outrage
CAIRO, Egypt (Reuters) >> A woman set fire to her Cairo apartment after an argument with her husband over his refusal to buy dried fruit and nuts traditionally eaten during the month of Ramadan. Dried apricots and figs are expensive and can cause domestic strife during this time of year for poorer families.(It probably didn't help matters when, instead of figs, hubby brought a McDonald's Happy Meal and bucket of KFC Honey Barbecue Wings.)
Censors brew over hot ad
DUBLIN, Ireland (Reuters) >> A TV ad for Ireland's national drink Guinness, which shows a man walking barefoot over crusted hot lava for a pint, has been pulled because it violates guidelines designed to cut down on underage drinking.In banning the ad, the Irish watchdog group Advertising Standards Authority said, "An advertisement for an alcoholic drink should not imply that drinking has therapeutic qualities or that it can contribute to social or other success."
(In addition, an ad should not encourage drunk people to do dumb things like walk on hot lava.)
'Honolulu Lite' on Sunday:
Water, water everywhere but not enough to satisfy surfers, tow-in surfers, kite surfers, wind surfers, body surfers, sponge surfers, swimmers, divers, floaters and boaters. On Sunday in Mauka-Makai, "Honolulu Lite" will reveal an allegedly top secret internal memo disclosing the pitfalls of regulating ocean sports activities.
Quote me on this:
"Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by committee meetings." -- George Will
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com