’Net Junkie

Shawn "Speedy" Lopes

When the love drug
wears off

Dating can be a wild, unpredictable hit-or-miss proposition, as we've all learned at one time or another. During the courting process, we're often so high on phenylethylamine (the "natural" love drug) that we end up goofy and half-witted. As a result, we can end up with a real loser. Fortunately, through the infinite knowledge of the Internet, we can weed out these sorry wretches in advance. At, click on "recent posts" for a gander at America's worst mates.

Ladies, be forewarned. Steer clear of Jason from Cypress, Texas, says one contributor. "He tried to get in my pants the first night and REALLY pushed it," she writes. "I wouldn't let him, so the date ended horribly with me crying and speeding away from the Denny's. He's a pig." Hey, Casanova -- don't you know how to treat a lady? Next time wait until after you've paid for your chicken strips to bust a move.

Then there's Tracy from Alabama, whose dirty laundry is exposed through this post: "Well, this woman has an unnatural fixation on her ex-husband and his new wife. She couldn't keep her pants on when she was married to him. She's even attempting to look like his new wife now (not a snowball's chance in hell, though). She has went so far as to show up at their house in the middle of the night drunk and lay(ing) on her stomach at his feet in the middle of the front yard and beg(ging) him to take her back." Sounds like an episode of "Cops," if you ask me.

You'd also do well to stay away from Tanya P. in Oklahoma. Her former husband writes: "My ex is a BIG, FAT overgrown hippopotamus who does nothing but lay around and mooch off of her dad. She dumped our three children in the cab of my truck and left. After working all day, I had to come home, clean the house and do dishes (and) laundry for everyone."

Click on "search posts" for a more extensive search of the world's worst companions, from Bucharest to Bridgewater, and all points in-between.

One Aussie was apparently not too embarrassed about a recent situation to warn others about his ex: "After one night at the Football Club she pulled my pants down and spanked me with her mother's hairbrush! I am not a wimp, but once she had me in her scissor lock there was nothing I could do. It really hurt and then she started to tell her friends, who would come and watch. I want to warn anyone living in Sydney about this 5-foot-9 in blonde demon. She likes horses and football players." Thanks for the tip, mate.

’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at

Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.

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