DENNIS ODA / DODA@STARBULLETIN.COM
From left, siblings DJ, Kawika, Ikaika and Anela Ah Wong posed for a picture at Waianae's football field after Ikaika's football practice on Wednesday. The four children were adopted by Charlie and Melvina Ah Wong four years ago.
4 children find When Charlie Ah Wong first heard four years ago of three brothers and a sister who needed a home, his initial thought was, "'Oh, neat, boys!' I used to spend a lot of time watching my son playing football, and I missed that."
house of love
in Waianae
Charlie and Melvina
Adoptive parents needed
Ah Wong fill an empty nest
by adopting foster kidsBy Pat Gee
pgee@starbulletin.com
Never mind that Ah Wong and his wife, Melvina, had just finished raising three daughters and a son. The couple soon welcomed the four foster children, then ages 4 to 11, into their Waianae home.
"My husband was bored. He had always wanted more boys," Melvina said. "I don't remember either of us hesitating at all. We just wanted to have the kids. We can't imagine why people are always telling us it's so amazing" to adopt four kids at once, she said with a laugh.
Charlie Ah Wong signed up with the Casey Family Programs and agreed to be a foster family for one year. A therapist helped the family make the adjustment and the children "fit right in ... Maybe a little hard head in the beginning," he said.
"From Day One, they called us 'Dad' and 'Mom.' I was amazed. But they really liked the idea" that the Ah Wongs were to become their parents.
"Casey told me to make sure I got them involved with sports (and other activities). And I thought, 'I like that!'" he said.
After a year, the couple decided to adopt the four, even though three of them were diagnosed with special needs and had to take Ritalin for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
The oldest boy, Eric or "Ikaika," who was used to being in charge of his siblings, was the "troublemaker" who got into fights at school and had failing grades, Charlie said. The youngest, Michael or "Kawika," had tantrums, and the girl, Anela, was always hitting her brothers because she was "used to being like the mom." (The fourth child is DJ.)
"Once the oldest boy got angry with me and wanted to get out of this house. I told him, 'This is your last stop. You can't keep going to different homes the rest of your life. You gotta deal with us and learn our way.' He's adjusted really well," Charlie said.
The boys turned out to be "very good athletes," especially at football. On weekends, he and his wife have to divide up to make sure someone attends every one of the boys' Pop Warner games.
DENNIS ODA / DODA@STARBULLETIN.COM
The Ah Wong family gathered on Wednesday for a family portrait. Clockwise from top left are son Kale Ah Wong, 23; daughter Charelle Gonzalez, 29; adopted daughter Anela Ah Wong, 14; son-in-law Brian Bedford, who is married to Charelle; adopted son Ikaika Ah Wong, 15; mother Melvina Ah Wong, 47; son-in-law Jason Kaio, 27; daughter Marsy Kaio, 27; father Charlie Ah Wong, 50; daughter Ekela Ah Wong, 22; adopted son DJ Ah Wong, 11; adopted son Kawika Ah Wong, 8; Nicole Gonzalez, 8, daughter of Charelle and Brian; Daechelle Kaio, 2, Marsy and Jason's child; and Laulia Phillips, 22, Kale's fiancee.
"It keeps us really busy, but my birth kids are really supportive, too," he added.
Their second bunch of kids is "more trouble (than the first) behaviorwise and schoolwise. Their learning habits are really different. I really had to sit down with the kids and check their homework every night, or they'd lie their way through it. If I had them from babies, I could (train them); but they're molded already, especially the two oldest. But their habits have gotten really better; they've really improved," he said.
Charlie Ah Wong, 50, said he never thought about being too old or tired when he took on his second brood.
"But one day it dawned on me. I told my wife, by the time they graduate, we be old! I never really thought about that before. But that's all right, I think we can handle."
Melvina Ah Wong said: "These kids are so good. I'm so proud of them."
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The Adoption Connection is looking for some special people. Program seeks people
willing to adopt kidsBy Pat Gee
pgee@starbulletin.com"We are in desperate need of families," said Stephanie Hellbush, a case assistant with Casey Family Programs. The families must be willing to adopt sibling groups of three or more, older children, and children with challenging behaviors and special needs, she said.
"People (interested in adopting) need to be caring, persistent, patient, have a sense of humor, be flexible and consistent. They need to be people who know their own limits and can manage stress well," Hellbush said.
Most people only want to foster parent, and they are welcome to try it until they decide whether to adopt, she said.
"It's a long-term commitment. Adoption is a lifelong journey," Hellbush added.
Casey Family is holding an informational meeting at 6 p.m. Oct. 24 at 1848 Nuuanu Ave. Call 521-9531 for more information; neighbor island residents can call collect at 808-441-0999.
Casey generally gets "kids from (the state's) Child Protective Agency who have been through trauma or loss. Some are medically fragile, but people seem to shy away from them. It takes a very special person to take them," Hellbush said. "The percentage of people who follow through and become adoptive families is relatively small."
The agency offers post-adoption training and support groups, she said.
"There are lots of reasons people want to adopt: infertility, the empty nest syndrome, they don't want to go through pregnancy, or they want to make a difference, to open their home and their hearts," Hellbush said.
