Honolulu Lite

CHARLES MEMMINGER

Judge’s ruling rocks
tourist industry

Alo-Ha friday

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I joked in a recent column about making Hawaii off limits to tourists because the islands are too dangerous.

As of to prove the point, a judge just ruled the state was negligent in the 1999 rock slide at Sacred Falls that killed eight people. The judge says the state didn't adequately warn visitors of the rock fall hazard.

I feel bad for the families of the victims, but if we the taxpayers of Hawaii are going to be financially responsible for every rock slide, every wave that sweeps someone into the sea and every volcanic eruption, this is going to be awfully expensive place to call home.

We can't keep tourists away. But we can make them all sign a liability waiver before they get off the airplane. On the form, in big red letters should state: "Welcome to Hawaii. Enter at Your Own Risk."

And now the news:

VP challenged to a duel

LIMA, Peru (Reuters) >> An irate Peruvian congressman challenged vice president David Waisman to a duel with pistols on a Lima beach, saying he had been called a coward and his honor was at stake.

Parliament member Eittle Ramos criticized first lady Eliane Karp for having "two-bit" parities. The vice president called Ramos's attack against a woman "cowardly," leading to the duel challenge.

(We were really excited about this story until we found out it didn't involve Dick Gephardt and vice prez Dick Cheney.)

Caregiver caught in jam

JERUSALEM (Reuters) >> A 91-year-old Israeli died after his caregiver spread a paste-like dishwashing detergent on his bread instead of hummus.

The caregiver, who worked for the man for five years, said he could not read the Hebrew writing on the detergent's container and mistook it for hummus, a chickpea spread popular in the Middle East.

(Investigators think it is a case of "hummus error.")

Honolulu Lite on Sunday:

Surfing contests are hogging all the good North Shore surfing beaches during the winter making it impossible for people like your humble columnist to paddle out into giant, killer Waimea Bay waves. Thank goodness.

Quote me on this:

"Have you ever noticed ... Anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?" -- George Carlin

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Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com

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