My Kind of Town

by Don Chapman

The Honolulu Soap Co.:
Sunday digest

>> 2002 Wilder

By the time Dr. Laurie Tang raced back up to the 15th floor and burst into her condo, HPD Detective Sherlock Gomes had bound the intruder's hands and ankles with duct tape.

Someone had broken in while she and Sherlock were up at the pool, and here he was, his right eye ripped and bloodied.

"He's alone," Gomes said, dialing HPD dispatch.

"Patsy, Gomes here. There's been a shooting. I've got the suspect in custody. You'd better get the crime scene boys over here. And we're gonna need an ambulance."

Gomes checked the intruder's pockets. No ID, just a money clip, a set of car keys and a plastic key card.

"Well, this is interesting. Laurie, you recognize this?" He handed her the card, on which was printed "2002 Wilder."

"That's Donovan's key!"

"So the question is, pally, did you steal it from the senator or are you working for him?"

Given their appointment tomorrow, Gomes was guessing the latter.

Three of Gomes' HPD colleagues arrived.

"Lemme me get dis straight," officer Stuart Kanekapolei said. "You wen' rat-tail 'im? From aroun' da corner? And you was aiming low, where you t'ought his alla-allas was? But bruddah was down, crouching? Yeah? And you took out one eye?"

"Just like that," Gomes said.

"A-(blank)ing-mazing, brah," officer Kanekapolei said. 

When the officers had finally gone, Laurie and Gomes went out to the lanai.

"By the way," she said, "when I called the ER, they said a terrorist blew up himself and nine other people in Waikiki, and injured a bunch of others."

"They need you at the ER."

"They should be OK by now. But after everything that's happened, I don't want to be alone."

"I'm Catholic," he said.

"What does that mean?"

"I don't do it on the first date."

"I just want you to hold me."

>> Kailua

"Good night, Daddy," Grace Ah Sun said, kissed her husband's cheek and rolled over. But Sheets could not sleep, not while his head spun with what might be found at the illegal dump site in Waimanalo tomorrow, and what that could mean for him and his brother Mits.

>>2002 Wilder

Laurie awoke and saw the clock read 2:27 a.m. She slipped off her nightgown, slid close to Sherlock.

"It's tomorrow already," she whispered in the good Catholic boy's ear. "Can we start our second date now?"

His answer was a kiss.

Hours later, while Laurie showered, Sherlock went over his plans. The morning news was on but just background noise until Mina Minimoto reported that the AWOL Sen. Donovan Matsuda-Yee-Dela Cruz-Bishop-Kamaka had scheduled a press conference for 10 a.m. at the Capitol.

That was one hour later than the time he was scheduled to pick up the senator and put him on a plane to a drug rehab center in Portland.

>> State Capitol

Machiavelli Wang read the morning's papers. There was no news about a dead detective. But knowing Salvatore Innuendo, there might only be a missing person report. Machiavelli had no doubt that Gomes was dead and disposed of.

Machiavelli heard the TV guys in the outer office.

The senator had gotten a good night's sleep, but you don't escape a three-day binge on ice, buds and Bud with your brain exactly tip-top. A shower, a fresh suit and some makeup made him look good for the cameras.

Then the senator was being introduced to the media to explain how he hadn't gone AWOL from the campaign for governor, but in fact had been "detained against my will by a group of Native Hawaiian terrorists for three days.

"I endured this ordeal only through my faith in God and the power of aloha," he said a moment before the color ran out of his face. "Oh God ..."

The eyes of the media followed his to the back of the room as Sherlock Gomes walked toward the podium, followed by four police officers.

"Senator, you're under arrest."


Don Chapman is the editor of MidWeek. His serialized novel runs daily, with a synopsis on Sunday.

Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek.
His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin
with weekly summaries on Sunday.
He can be emailed at

E-mail to Features Editor

Text Site Directory:
[News] [Business] [Features] [Sports] [Editorial] [Calendars]
[Classified Ads] [Search] [Subscribe] [Info] [Letter to Editor]
© 2002 Honolulu Star-Bulletin --