Honolulu Lite
Boomer premiered
in classic Lite
(Charles Memminger is on vacation. He left behind a few columns he calls "Honolulu Lite Classics from the Early Years." This one ran on Aug. 23, 1995)We've got a new member of the family. His name is Boomer. We rescued him from the Hawaiian Humane Society where he was headed for a fate worse than death: Mililani. Mililani, where all dogs become yappers and the automated Super Dooper Doodoo Scoopers follow dogs around like devil-possessed Zambonies.
It wasn't long ago our beloved cat Musubi went to that Big Bento in the sky. Suddenly, we were petless. We tried to pass of a gecko named "Spot" to our 7-year-old daughter, but she wised up after a week. Besides, Fetch the Roach is a game that gets old quickly.
We decided to get a dog, so we went to the Humane Society where they have every possible breed of dog you could want as long as it's half pit bull. There are few animals as ugly or scary as a pit bull-chihuahua, a 100-pound nervous, hairless beast with an attitude.
Amid these canine freaks, however, we found Boomer, a poi dog as sweet as a lump of Alpo dipped in chocolate.
Having a dog is different from having a cat. My daughter has learned to put her toys away. One morning in her room I found Sarah's favorite Barbie, her arms chewed off up to the elbows. A little plastic hand lay in the middle of the room. The middle fingers had been gnawed off. It looked like a tiny shaka sign. Sad, very sad.
Another night, Boomer ate an entire box of crayons. I don't know what crayons are made of but their colors stay sharp and bright no matter what happens to them. Boomer's "daily business" looked quite festive. I almost took a picture of it.
I don't think Boomer's first house had stairs. He hasn't gotten the hang of decelerating when going down. He takes the first steps at full speed, flies past the next several and lands in a heap at the bottom. Then he hops up, tail wagging, like, "Hey! That's fun! You try it!"
On Boomer's first trip to the vet, they injected him with a computer chip under his skin, the latest thing in dog registration. If he wanders away and gets lost, all they have to do is scan him to find out where he lives. There seems to be a few bugs in the system. Last week an oceanographic researcher showed up at our house. He said he was tracking a pod of humpback whales, and according to the satellite, we had one on our deck. I told him he'd made a mistake but he wouldn't leave until weighing and measuring Boomer. The researcher told us to keep him wet and before leaving, threw Boomer a bunch of anchovies.
Life is obviously going to be weird and exciting with Boomer around. But on the other hand, the puppy really seemed to like the fish.
(Author's note: Boomer continues to gobble up anything left lying around the house, unless it happens to be in his dog dish.)
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com