Sidelines
PRO football training camps opened this week. The WAC media days are under way in Boise. (Boise?) Which means we are heading into the final stretch of the dog days of summer. Which means we can officially start to talk about football. Let the countdown
to kickoff begin>> Like many of you, I am excited about the upcoming Hawaii season. It's time to start thinking about Eastern Illinois. Time for a little research. Eastern Illinois, Eastern Illinois ... it didn't seem to exist. Then the realization hit -- oh, it's a Division I-AA school.
Eastern Illinois' football Web site trumpets:
"Defending Ohio Valley Conference Champions and NCAA I-AA Playoff Participant!"
The Panthers have three preseason (I-AA) All-Americans, including Walter Payton Award front-runner Tony Romo, a quarterback. Sounds great.
>> Eastern Illinois lost at San Diego State 40-7 last year. San Diego State was 3-8 last year.
It was SDSU's homecoming. It ended a seven-game losing streak. Larry Ned looked like Marshall Faulk, with 285 yards rushing. San Diego State never punted.
That's life in Division I-AA.
>> Dave Casper once said: "Training camp is like kissing an ugly girl. At first there's the fear of the unknown. But once you get started, it's not so bad."
>> I remember a training camp in which Peter Dudoit went 10 rounds with a bat.
(Yes, that's right. A flying bat.)
And one when Toanga Pahulu sang "Don't Worry, Be Happy" throughout the entire awful, miserable existence, until someone finally snapped and conked his skull into a wall. (All Toanga did then was smile and say, "Good thing I get one coconut head!")
And one where I performed surgery on myself, bursting a painful blood blister by drilling through a toenail with a flaming hot paper clip.
>> Knute Rockne once said: "If you're a lineman, you have to be big and dumb. If you're a back, you only have to be dumb."
>> Don't get down on UH for scheduling Eastern Illinois -- yet. Give Hawaii one more year to grow. It still needs wins to build its program more than it needs marquee opponents to build its RPI.
But it needs to take advantage of these games. UH shouldn't be losing to any of these cupcakes (see Nevada, Rice, last year).
The time will come when Hawaii should come calling at Pac-10 venues (remember, Fresno State coach Pat Hill was banking on what kind of team he was going to have when he made that schedule last year) -- but until then UH still needs the gate and the win. Especially in the first game of the season.
>> Besides, those road swings -- at BYU, at Fresno, at Boise -- will be brutal. Those people will be laying in wait. Those games will be huge.
Hawaii could be a better team than it was last year and still lose all three.
>> Gary Fencik once said: "Buddy (Ryan) was like my favorite uncle. The one I wanted to tell, 'Shut up.' "
>> Wayne Hunter has the long arms and the lean physique and the excitement of playing a new position. Vince Manuwai has the hype and the Web site and the new nickname ("V-Man"). But the Hawaii offensive lineman I'm watching this year is Uriah Moenoa. This guy has the gift. He has better twinkle toes than Fred Flintstone. Watch him seal off that corner out there, alone on the edge. It's a thing of beauty.
>> Lou Holtz once said: "Welcome to 'The Lou Holtz Show.' Unfortunately, I'm Lou Holtz."
>> I love Lou Holtz.
Kalani Simpson can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com