Honolulu Lite
I wonder how many kids today ever drank from a lawn hose. You know, got that first nasty blast of warm hose water that shoots down your throat and out your nose and makes you feel like your head is going to explode. Thirsting for when water
came in hoses, not bottlesHose water was our only form of liquid sustenance when we were kids. You never forget your first really bad swig of hose water. We'd be playing over in some other kid's yard where the hose hadn't been used in weeks, baking there in the sun. And we'd get so thirsty, we'd forget that and actually fight over who would get the first gulp. If you were the unlucky winner, that water would come out of there at about 114 degrees tasting like rancid road tar. It would mess you up.
But, man, after the water had run for a while and the rubber flavor had been flushed out, there was nothing better than cold, clear hose water.
Kids were different back then. We were like little desert nomads. We could go practically all day without water, mainly because it was never around. At least not in little plastic bottles. And we couldn't sneak in the house to get water out of the kitchen tap because our moms would see us and put us to work. So we toughed out like dinky dromedaries until a lawn hose was handy.
Today's kids are the most thirst-quenched youngsters in the history of offspring. They will not walk from the house to the bus stop unless they have a plastic bottle of water in their backpacks. They live in a world where liquids are plentiful, where Big Gulps rule. I would bet that few teens today have ever been truly thirsty. They are the Young and the Hydrated. Which is good.
We were just stupid. We'd actually go off for a day of surfing, a day of hanging out on a hot, sunny beach, and never even think about taking a jug of water or a couple of cans of soda with us. We'd come ashore sunburned and dehydrated, eyeballing some family's Igloo cooler like a bunch of beggar children. If we were lucky, we'd be at a beach where there'd be a shower. Then at least we could drink shower water, which, no matter how long you ran the blasted thing, never reached the quality of good hose water.
Kids are smarter today. They actually have the ability to plan, which sets them apart from the lower primates and kids of my generation. If they are going to be outdoors longer than 25 minutes, they pack up like they are going to cross the Serengeti. They'll pack bottled water, sodas, snacks, sunscreen, a cellular phone, CD player, extra clothes and an electronic global positioning device simply to walk to the mall. Have you seen the huge backpacks kids haul around today? There are no books in those backpacks. They're full of basic teen survival gear. These kids are better equipped than the 1871 Dr. Livingstone expedition.
It's pure jealousy speaking. I often wonder what our younger days would have been like had we condescended to wear sun protection and not burned the noses off of our faces. Or had taken a few minutes to pack a few Cokes on ice before charging out to the beach.
Then again, we experienced the glory of drinking hose water, something the overly hydrated young today would not even consider.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com