Honolulu Lite
I have it on pretty good authority that the non-Hawaiian "student" Kamehameha Schools trustees decided to allow to attend classes on the Maui campus was NOT wrestling superstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Kamehameha name
just riles peopleBut it could have been. The Rock is going to play King Kamehameha the Great in a new movie. What better way for The Rock, who is Samoan, to learn what it's like to be Hawaiian than for Kamehameha the Great to attend Kamehameha Schools?
What is it about the word "Kamehameha" that causes so much controversy? Kamehameha, the man, was cool, as long as you didn't break his paddle or anything. He united the Hawaiian Islands, which was generally considered a good thing except to those who became somewhat killed during the unification process. The King is dead, but his name attracts controversy like a nene bird attracts wildlife conservationists.
We were just sinking our teeth into The Rock/Kamehameha Controversy when up pops The Haole Student/Kamehameha Controversy. As predicted here, many Hawaiians were upset to find out that a non-Hawaiian actor was chosen to play Kamehameha in the upcoming movie. That was a no-brainer. But who would have guessed that Kamehameha Schools trustees would suddenly admit a non-Hawaiian into the schools? It was one of those "Guess Who's Coming to Pupus?" moments when we suddenly learned that a 100 percent pure non-Hawaiian would be going to a school where, allegedly, only those with some Hawaiian blood have been allowed to attend.
It was really nothing more than a nudge-nudge, wink-wink, tax dodge deal: Let in one non-Hawaiian and then the IRS won't revoke the multi-billion dollar estate's tax-exempt status. But Kamehameha alumni saw it as a betrayal of the first order and let the trustees know it. Displaying spinal columns of tofu, the trustees caved in, apologized and seemed to say they'd reconsider their actions. Hey, what's a little federally supported racism among friends?
Where will the next Kamehameha-related controversy erupt? I think I've found it. There's a Kamehameha nightclub in Frankfurt, Germany, that I suspect didn't get permission from the UH Hawaiian Studies department to operate.
Why anyone would name a German club offering booze, babes and bratwurst after a Hawaiian king, I don't know. But it sounds like a pretty happening joint. The club's Web site states: "Do you want the King Kamehameha Club exclusively for a meeting to rent? On these sides you find to information approximately around the possibilities, which to you the club offers in addition!"
I think that means that anyone can rent the club for any reason at any time. So ironically, the King Kamehameha Club in Germany doesn't discriminate on the basis of race.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com