Honolulu Lite
Dave D. (not his real initial) took a drag of his cigarette at the next stool over and wondered aloud, "Why is it that when the government needs money it always picks on smokers?" Getting to the
bottom of sin taxesAs he took a swig of an amber-colored liquid that I suspected was not apple juice, I pointed out that when the government needs money it also picks on people who don't drink apple juice.
They call them "sin taxes," I said. When the cash faucet starts to run dry, our elected leaders like to raise taxes on things like cigarettes and booze.
"Why pick on us? It's not like we don't have enough troubles," he said.
He had a point. I've often wondered why the government likes to overtax the weakest members of society, those poor souls battling the bottle, the cancer sticks and the racetrack. We don't have a racetrack in Hawaii (yet), but gambling often is touted as a way to raise money for the government. And basically, legalized gambling is just another tax on the degenerate class.
I suppose sin taxes are popular because those doing the sinning are too distracted to mount a political counteroffensive. You don't see groups of people with signs staggering around, bumping into each other and trying to bum smokes while protesting arbitrary cost-of-living increases directed only at them.
Hawaii, like a lot of other states in dire financial straits after the Sept. 11 disaster, rushed to increase taxes on cigarettes and hooch as a way to balance the budget.
It's really a hypocritical gambit when you think about it. You wouldn't tax the lame, the mentally ill, the decrepit, just to make a few bucks. But the government thinks nothing of raising taxes on drinkers and smokers who are rushing headlong toward an early grave as much as anyone with a more politically correct fatal disease.
What makes it hypocritical is the idea that by raising taxes on liquor and tobacco, you are actually discouraging their use. Wrong. By staking the government's financial well-being on the spendable income of puffers and quaffers, you are not discouraging drinking and smoking; you are COUNTING on it. If everyone quit drinking and smoking -- the purported moral justification for overtaxing tobacco and spirits -- the government would go bankrupt.
Speaking of toilets, Dave D. (not his real first name) had a suggestion. If the government really needs money, why doesn't it overtax something that everybody uses: toilet paper? Smack a thumping big tax on toilet paper, like 5 bucks a roll, and the government would be swimming in money. And there's nothing anyone could do about it. Because while nasty personal habits like smoking, drinking and gambling can be avoided, everybody's got to, uh, tidy up after sitting on the throne.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com