Honolulu Lite
Even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while. Which explains why, considering my shabby track record at making political predictions, I was able to tell you beforehand that big bucks banker Walter Dods, who was considering a run for governor, wouldn't actually do it. Rooting out acorns in
the political muck"If Dods hasn't regained his sanity and quit the race before this column is published, I'll be surprised," I wrote. That appeared in Monday's column, the same day Dods announced his family had convinced him not to run. So, blind hogs and columnists get a break every once in awhile.
The question is, why did Dods decide not to become the savior of the Democratic party at a time when control of the governor's seat is in peril of going to the Republicans? Dods told reporters it was because his family asked him not to do it. His children, he said, were worried about his health. You have to wonder whether Dods' children also were worried about their family becoming the Ozzy Osbournes of Hawaii. While Walter Dods has been a high-profile community figure in Hawaii for years, he and his family have not been subject to the relentless scrutiny of their personal lives that goes along with being a big-time public servant these days.
Family considerations aside, you also have to wonder whether a successful businessman, a respected community volunteer and a powerful behind-the-scenes political player like Walter Dods was ready to chuck all that for the often disgusting and always disheartening roll in the muck that passes as a political campaign in Hawaii. There are hogs, blind hogs and career politicians and, trust me, you'd only want to get down and dirty with the first two.
That's a sad commentary on our electoral system, but politics attracts a bad crowd: ruthless people who see politics as a profession, not a public service. Each elected office is merely a stepping stone to the next higher one -- unless you're a Republican in Hawaii, in which case most of the bottom stones are already occupied and you have to try to jump directly to the top stone.
To run for office these days, you have to be a sado-maso-ego-victimitist. Which means you must have a huge ego, enjoy both inflicting and receiving pain and be ready to whine when things don't go your way. Just to make things more jolly, as soon as you run for office, you give up all privacy. What fun! I mean, would you want ME going through YOUR tax returns for the last 10 years?
This doesn't mean that all politicians are vicious, egomaniacal phonies, just the successful ones.
You want evidence? By the time this column (written on Tuesday) appears in print, I predict plumeria-clad former City Councilwoman Rene Mansho will have been sentenced to prison for abusing her staff and our trust. Can a blind hog find two acorns in a row?
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com