Honolulu Lite

CHARLES MEMMINGER

ALO-HA FRIDAY

Walter Dods, a man of the
(really, really rich) people

I'm dying to dive into the hottest political story of the decade: millionaire banker Walter Dods (the richest Democrat in the world?) considering running for governor. Dods is a smart man who's lived a charmed life, so why would he submit himself to the horror of a public run for office? His nutty 1995 "Thumbs Up!" campaign alone -- in which the well heeled tried to convince the rest of us that the economy was not in the state of royal suckage it actually was -- will be just one pillory Dods will be tortured upon. Unfortunately, I suspect Dods will put his ego and the governor's race aside before I have a chance to write about them in Monday's "Honolulu Lite."

Now the news:

A firecracker of an idea

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) >> A wildfire burning in Alaska's interior was ignited by state biologists using firecrackers to scare off an aggressive cow moose. The firecrackers, used to scare a moose who was approaching a forest biologist, began the 92,000-acre wildfire, which has been burning for a month.

(On the positive side, the firecrackers and resulting wildfire succeeded in scaring the moose away. She was last seen in New Jersey and still heading south.)

'Feel Good' vote covered

BERLIN (Reuters) >> German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder's Social Democrats have picked an unorthodox way to reach voters: condoms with the party's bright red color.

Boxes of 100 condoms, with the slogan "Feel Good, SPD," are being sold at the party's headquarters for $40.

(Note to Walter Dods: With a little tweaking, this could work in the governor's race as a sort of "Thumbs Up!" campaign.)

Welcome to 'Hotel Styx'

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) >> MTV has been slapped with a $10 million lawsuit from a couple who were surprised to find a fake corpse in their hotel room as part of a hidden-camera prank for a reality-TV show.

(Apparently, the competition between these reality shows is getting really stiff.)

'Honolulu Lite' on Sunday:

We are supposed to be on alert for terrorists. But in Hawaii we're too busy looking out for the crazies and violent predators whom judges keep turning loose on our streets. Will the senseless killing of longtime Honolulu Star-Bulletin writer Jack Wyatt, who was simply out for a jog on a beautiful morning along the Ala Wai, finally drive home the point that it is crazy to allow the criminally insane to roam our neighborhoods? Sadly, probably not. For a not-so-lite look at this latest preventable tragedy, read "Honolulu Lite" in Sunday's Star-Bulletin.

Quote me on this:

"Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other." -- Oscar Ameringer

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Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com

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