|
For an intimate wedding venue, there's no place like home. Big ballroom nuptials tend to upstage the couple. Surely, love is all they need. Where the heart is
Weddings held at home offer
couples comfort and intimacyParties with pizazz
City parks can also make a great wedding locationLAST OF FOUR PARTS
By Ruby Mata-Viti
rmataviti@starbulletin.comIf love is all they have, however, and their aim is simple and inexpensive, they may be in for a shock. The cost for a home wedding can be as much as a wedding at a conventional site such as a hotel or rental hall. With careful planning, however, they can alleviate stress and head off unwelcome surprises.
Couples who do choose to get married at home are usually older -- often in their 30s -- have been together for several years and have different priorities from a younger couple, said Leslie Nakagawa of Bridal Emporium. The guest list usually includes immediate family and close friends. Nakagawa said those couples "don't feel obligated to invite their mother's friends or other people they hardly know."
As the summer wedding season begins, we conclude a four-day series on planning the details: Tuesday: Leave it to the experts when accessorizing your wedding gown.
Wednesday: Cookies and candies bring romantic flavor to the wedding table.
Yesterday: Crafty brides can adorn their wedding tables with favors of their own making.
Mark Olmos, a teaching pastor at Faith Christian Fellowship Church, said big weddings, designed like public celebrations, are much more formal.
"Sometimes the formality gets in the way of people grasping the power of the moment and commitment," he added, so it's his duty to focus on the vows.
In a church, pressure is high for perfection, said Olmos, whereas at home, the bride's not too worried about tripping down the aisle.
"Some people just prefer casual, which doesn't mean that it's sloppy," he said. "It's just as important."
Knowledgeable advisers like Karen Kawaji can help with wedding plans. Kawaji owns The Wedding Cafe at Manoa Marketplace, a bridal-themed eatery where people gather for coffee, sandwiches and brainstorming amidst a backdrop of Enya-like music, white walls and pastel accents. The atmosphere is conducive to daydreaming and conjuring up the perfect day.
Kawaji stocks a range of wedding-related reference materials for browsing and holds free bridal workshops on Wednesdays. She doesn't coordinate weddings but has cards of those who do, and she will pass on tips.
MOST HAWAII HOMES aren't big enough to fit even a small wedding party of 50, she said, so she recommends borrowing a compassionate friend's home geared for entertaining.
Still no luck? Caterers have access to beachfront property or small estates that can be rented for the day.
|
Michael Rabe, president of Creations in Catering, said, "Couples see movies like 'The Father of the Bride' or 'Meet the Parents' (with weddings set in affluent homes) and want theirs like that," but their home's not suitable, so they'll rent an estate. "It's become trendy."A small estate rental offers the intimacy of a home, without the worries of scrubbing every cranny before the event or guests peeking into their closets and medicine chests. The cost for a modest one starts at about $900, Rabe said.
Kawaji said a home wedding doesn't equal nontraditional. Will the couple want a photographer? A videographer? Or just simple snapshots with studio portraits done elsewhere?
"A Perfect Home Wedding," by Kerry Eielson, is a good guidebook, she said, adding that a caterer who will work with their budget is important to creating a wedding backdrop.
Sometimes the dollars ring up to be more than a hotel wedding, she said, because couples are prone to making 11th-hour changes. Hotels can go with the flow of a fluctuating guest list, she said, and everything you need is on site. With a caterer it's all a la carte. The tables, chairs, silverware, dishes, tent and food must be carefully itemized and paid for.
And while a guest may know where to find the major hotels, it takes more effort to find a house in the suburbs. Another consideration is that hotels have access for the handicapped; most homes do not. And some neighborhoods can't accommodate parking for a large number of guests, so a valet service may be needed.
Then there's the weather. Will the couple want an extra tent in case of rain, or will they cross their fingers and pray?
Rabe recommends a tent, especially ones with clear tops, which he says are popular, and he adds that it's worth the cost to keep the guests comfortable and food protected.
He has helped to plan several estate-home weddings, and said a few simply decorated tables and an island-style buffet plus the price of renting a modest estate would cost $50 per person for a minimum of 79 guests. This would include tax, gratuity and complete cleanup of the estate afterward. Hired staff would be on site to provide assistance, but the buffet would be mostly self-serve. Beverages and tents would be extra.
For comparison, Cynthia Rankin, public relations director for the Sheraton Moana Surfrider, one of Waikiki's more upscale hotels, said their Hawaiian buffet with fruit punch, coffee or tea is about $51 per person. They offer a sit-down prime rib dinner for $48. Price quotes are for 75 persons minimum, said Rankin. This includes gratuity, tax, tables, linens, chairs, staging, dance floor and candles. There is no rental fee for use of the rooms when food is ordered.
Rabe agrees that some home weddings may not be any cheaper than more formal accommodations, but said they offer casual elegance and a personal touch.
To give the home a festive atmosphere, he suggests flower arrangements focused around the bride's color theme, and tulle, a soft nettinglike fabric, around doorways and posts. Tree and tea lights set around the home, walkways and garden give the feel of millions of candles.
"Little white Christmas lights work excellently," Rabe said.
One snag that Rabe often finds is yard access. "If we have to cut through the house and truck everything through a home that has white carpet," then plastic matting is in order and costs escalate.
|
Big or small, no matter where it's held there are a myriad of details that make any wedding stressful, said Olmos, who has been a pastor for 10 years.He seems to think that surviving the wedding day planning is a test in itself.
"It's a snapshot of what life is going to be like for the couple," he said. Life will throw them many curveballs, and "they're going to be busy. They have to make time for dates and find time to build and strengthen their relationship in the midst of chaos."
BACK TO TOP
|
One of the trends in bridal showers is the theme party. Recipe showers, kitchen, bath, lingerie, linen and garden showers ... The possibilities are endless. Parties with pizazz
By Nancy Arcayna
narcayna@starbulletin.comKitchen gifts have always been popular because of the range of items available and necessary for newlyweds to set up a household, but because many couples today already live together before they marry, other themes invite whimsy.
Lingerie showers are always fun, and a new option is to give gift certificates for special services such as beauty treatments for hair, nails or body, in addition to the usual gifts of sexy underwear.
Guests also can create an "ornament party" for the bride and groom. The decorations are intended for the couple's first Christmas together.
And rather than send the groom off with his buddies, men are welcome to today's showers. A "stock the bar" party works well in this scenario, with guests presenting wine, liquors, alcohol mixers, wine glasses and bar accessories.
As for games, "bridal bingo" is an option for larger parties. Prepare blank bingo cards. Each guest fills out a blank card with gifts that they think will be received at the shower. As the gifts are being opened, guests should check to see if they wrote it on their card. If they did, it should be crossed off. When a person gets five crossed off in a row, Bingo-style, they win a prize.
BACK TO TOP
|
If your home isn't equipped to entertain a small wedding party, and you don't want to rent an estate, consider having it at a city park. City parks can also make
a great wedding location
By Ruby Mata-Viti
rmata-viti@starbulletin.comParks permits officer Doug Mizuno can recite the most popular sites people request for weddings.
In first place is Leahi Park, along Diamond Head, for its sunset and gazebo. A close second is Makalei Park, also along Diamond Head. Then there's Sandy Beach.
"Sandy's in the morning is really nice," said Mizuno, who retires at the end of this month after 34 1/2 years with the City Department of Parks & Recreation, eight in the permits department.
Kakaako Waterfront Park is also good for a sunset wedding, he said. "Magic Island used to be popular, but now too many (runners, bicyclists, roll-erbladers) get in the way of the wedding photographs."
A park permit is free, but if the couple hires a commercial photographer, the photographer needs a separate permit requiring a $10-a-day fee. Both take one or two days to process.
If the couple wants a catered reception with tents, it would be classified as a picnic, he said.
"But not too many people do that because they can't have a bar for the guests." Lest we forget, no liquor is allowed in public parks.
He said couples usually have their ceremony at the park, then, since it's a small group, the guests caravan to a reception at a fine-dining restaurant's private party room.
For more information on park permits, call 523-4525 or 523-4527.
Click for online
calendars and events.
