Honolulu Lite
I guess if I were vacationing in Alaska and wanted to go on a hike, I'd appreciate it if the local authorities posted signs telling me on which trails I might encounter bears. Shark signs need a
little more biteIt just makes sense to give visitors the choice between hiking on trails where bears are known to frequently drag people into the woods and trails that are generally bear-free.
So I don't have a problem with the state's plan to post signs at one beach letting people know that an area of water is a known hangout for sharks and, historically, hungry ones.
The signs are to go up at Olowalu Beach on Maui, where there have been three shark attacks in 11 years, one of them fatal. That actually doesn't seem like a lot of shark attacks when you do the math. It works out to about one shark attack every 1,500 days, so you are talking about sharks that aren't really taking their jobs seriously or who are moonlighting at other beaches.
I think tourists should know if certain beaches are favored by sharks. We put out signs warning people of dangerous shorebreaks and stinging jellyfish, so it makes sense to let them know a meat-eating predator may be in the water so they can decide whether they want to become food or not.
My problem is the passive wording on the proposed signs. The signs currently being considered say: "Caution. Sharks May Be Present." Caution?
Caution is a word generally used when undertaking an enterprise in which you have the ability to protect yourself, like crossing the street or walking on a freshly mopped floor. You know that if you are cautious, if you wait until no cars are coming, you can cross the road in safety. Or if you tread carefully, you can walk across the wet spot on the floor without breaking your neck.
If there were a chance, however, that no matter how empty the road seemed, a deadly vehicle suddenly could come smashing through the pavement and swallow you whole, "caution" would not be the proper word of warning. "Danger!" would be the correct word. "Watch Out! Very Weird Road!" might work.
Once you enter the ocean, it doesn't matter how cautious you are. If there is a hungry or belligerent shark in the vicinity, caution isn't going to save your butt, being able to run across the surface of the water until you hit dry land is.
Likewise, the word "may" on the warning sign seems a little too soft for the occasion. "Sharks May Be Present" seems too benign, like "Earth MAY have been visited by extraterrestrials." You MAY have already won the Publishers Clearing House million-dollar drawing. "May" suggests long odds, usually not in your favor.
I'm not sure what the wording should be. It doesn't have to be melodramatic, like warnings on medieval maps in sci-fi novels: "Here Be Dragons!" But it needs to be a little oomph, like "Danger! Known Shark Area. Enter at your own risk. Condiments optional."
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com