Superheroes. Do you have what it takes to become one? Or do superheroes have what it takes to become YOU? Discover your
inner superheroBy Burl Burlingame
bburlingame@starbulletin.com
Superheroes are as different as can be, but they have certain characteristics in common. They come in as many flavors as there are spandex colors.
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Are you a Wonder Woman...
What kind of superhero would you be?
The quiz below may help. Circle the number next to the answer that best describes your response. Add up the numbers when you're done. There's no "high" or "low" score. Check the answers below to find out your superscore.
A. You come to a tall building and need to get around to the other side. You:
1. Look carefully to make sure no civilians will be injured as you jump over the building, and if anyone is inconvenienced, you apologize.
2. Jump over the building.
3. Jump over the building, acutely aware that people are watching you, and you're both embarrassed and excited.
4. Wait until no one is looking, preferably at night, and jump over the building, pausing only to look into windows in case someone is doing something illegal or erotic.
5. Smash building!
B. You need some sort of superhero outfit. You:
1. Make lots of sketches, ask friends for advice, get your colors done by a professional, remember what looked good on your mom.
2. Use whatever's available that won't rip in a tussle and is easily cleaned.
3. Make it yourself and you're convinced that all people notice are the mismatched seams.
4. Choose an outfit that's dark, mysteriously detailed and draws attention to your slim waist and padded codpiece.
5. Go naked!
C. A situation arises in which you're tempted to use your powers for evil rather than good. You:
1. Refuse, and talk about it at length with friends during late-night phone calls.
2. Refuse.
3. Are really tempted, and eventually don't do it, but you feel like a sucker. You wonder if you're an idiot.
4. Know that whether you do it or not doesn't matter, because no one will ever know.
5. Score!
D. During a no-holds-barred brawl with evildoers, you:
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... or a Batman?
1. Search desperately for a way to restrain them without causing either short-term physical damage or long-term psychological damage.
2. Restrain them.
3. Get the snot pounded out of yourself before prevailing, and try to cover up with onlookers by making feeble wisecracks.
4. Efficiently beat the snot out of the bad guy, and if he gets hurt or killed in the process, well, too bad.
5. Pound them!
E. It's necessary to have a secret identity, so you:
1. Dress as drably as possibly, hiding your physical attributes, but you still check yourself out in the mirror whenever possible.
2. Put on a pair of shades. Good enough.
3. Are convinced that everyone sees through your disguise and is secretly laughing at you.
4. Keep your superhero outfit on under your disguise, and your hand keeps sneaking into your pocket to caress the Spandex stretched across your taut muscles.
5. Forget it!
F. Every superhero needs a sidekick, so you:
1. Choose a bright, young -- albeit disadvantaged -- person who needs guidance, and carefully explain your actions and feelings before and after each mission. Homework is assigned.
2. Choose someone who will fit into the suit when you retire.
3. Stay a loner, because a sidekick will see right through you to the phony underneath.
4. Choose someone who looks like you and doesn't mind you dressing him in the mornings.
5. Shriek, "I don't need no psychic!"
G. You're desperately attracted to someone who doesn't know you're a superhero. You:
1. Keep a diary about your inner feelings and stare at the person moodily when they're not looking.
2. Settle for someone who won't explode when you kiss.
3. Blurt it out at the worst possible moment and get your face slapped.
4. Install mirrors on the bedroom ceiling and lock yourself in the mansion with your sidekick.
5. Jump her!
BACK TO TOP
Scoring:
If your score adds up to 7 or close to it, you're Wonder Woman. If your score is 14 or close to it, you're Superman. If your score is 21 or close to it, you're Spider-Man. If your score is 28 or close to it, you're Batman. If your score is 35 or close to it, you're the Incredible Hulk, or on the Honolulu City Council.
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