Talk Story
A miscarriage of justice
at the Ala Wai Golf CourseJUDGE KAREN Ahn is wise, I'm sure, but I don't think she plays golf. If she did, she wouldn't have blown it Monday when she sentenced starter Lawrence Helekahi for taking bribes at the Ala Wai Golf Course.
Helekahi was one of two city golf course employees indicted last June for slipping extra foursomes between scheduled groups at $5 a head. Apparently, this happened about 10 times a day for years. The other indictee, Janice Kakugawa, was sentenced last August.
The daily take for 10 foursomes would be about $200 tax-free, or $48,000 a year for the 22 years Kakugawa worked at the Ala Wai. Helekahi was indicted for only two months of bribe taking. Together, they might have raked in more than $1 million during their tenures.
Non-golfers might assume this is a victimless crime. What's the harm in letting a few more badly dressed duffers out on the course? You could argue that these public-spirited workers were eking out more city revenue by packing more players onto the fairways.
Golfers would demand the death penalty.
IT TAKES about three and a half hours to play 18 holes of golf in the traditional way. It's a simple game: Hit the ball, find it, hit the ball, find it ... knock it in the hole. Repeat 18 times.
Three and half hours allows for plumb-bobbing putts, posing after good shots, complaining about bad ones, hitting a couple of mulligans and fishing a few balls out of the water hazards.
A round actually takes longer riding in a golf cart than walking -- especially when carts are banned from muddy fairways. It takes longer still on some resort courses laid out to sell time-shares and retirement homes, where a tee might be a quarter-mile from the last green.
Years ago, I used to play at the Ala Wai, but I gave it up. A typical round there during Kakugawa's reign as starter took between five and six hours. That's if you already had a tee time. If not, you'd expect to wait an hour or two more before she'd send you out.
SLOW PLAY is the scourge of golf. It's a game meant to improve spiritual awareness, humanity's connection with the natural universe, serene enjoyment of the out of doors and visceral appreciation of the laws of physics. It's not meant to be a waiting game.
The Ala Wai boasts that it's the busiest in the nation at 176,000 rounds per year. To squeeze in that many hackers, you have to start 10 foursomes an hour, 12 hours a day, 365 days a year -- four players every six minutes.
PGA tournaments start four players every nine minutes. Seven minutes between tee times is more typical; that's what starters at Olomana Golf Links in Waimanalo shoot for.
It might seem like splitting hairs, but the difference between six- and seven- minute gaps is 16.6 percent. Ten foursomes an hour is past the tipping point. It's gridlock.
Let's face it, a person can take only so much waiting. The upshot is golf rage.
OTHERWISE POLITE ladies and gentlemen -- imbued by the spirit of the sport's character-building rules and inspired by champions like Vardon, Jones, Nicklaus and Woods -- are moved by immobility to hurl curses, scorn and occasionally a five iron at preceding players who appear to dawdle over their approach shots.
Judge Ahn sentenced Helekahi and Kakugawa each to 250 hours of community service, probation and fines of $1,000 and $15,000 respectively.
Where she blew it was in banning them from playing on municipal courses.
I'd have made 'em play -- and made 'em wait.
John Flanagan is the Star-Bulletin's contributing editor.
He can be reached at: jflanagan@starbulletin.com.