Honolulu Lite
"Why would anyone speed in Hawaii?," asked Seattle radio show host Bill Radke. I was stumped. Radke who hosts a really funny program called "Rewind" which is broadcast nationally on National Public Radio, interviewed me recently for a segment on Hawaii's speed camera fiasco. [ ALO-HA FRIDAY ]
Mainland jock questions
our need to speed"Where do you have to get to in such a hurry?," he asked.
"The beach?" I said lamely.
It reminded me that while we consider ourselves living a modern, hustling metropolis geographically just a few miles makai of San Francisco, some people on the mainland think we're a backward tropical island with nothing better to do than go the posted speed limit.
If you'd like to hear the Radke's piece on Hawaii, you'll have to go to the mainland because Hawaii Public Radio doesn't carry his show.
Now the news:
Rio hates Homer. Doh!
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) >> James Brooks, executive producer of the TV comedy "The Simpsons" apologized to Rio de Janeiro for an episode that depicted the city as teeming with rats and monkeys.Rio's tourist board had been considering legal action against "The Simpsons" for undermining its $18 million tourism campaign.
A tourism spokesman said "What really hurt was the idea of the monkeys, the image that Rio de Janeiro was a jungle."
(Apparently, the rat thing was right on the mark.)
Attack of the dying snails
Thousands of sea snails are dying along Cox's Bazar beach on the Bay of Bengal, creating a stomach-churning stench that is driving away tourists."We are baffled by the finding that only one out of more than 300 species of sea snails are dying off along a particular stretch of beach," a spokesman said.
( And just when the Riviera crowd was about to fly in. "Simpsons" producer James Brooks apologized in advance for a planned episode called "Rats, Monkeys and Rotting Snails, Bangladesh Sucks". )
Your sheep has sailed
SINGAPORE (Reuters) >> Singapore, which runs public campaigns on everything from toilet etiquette to having babies, is trying to stamp out the use of "Singlish," English slang spoken by 70 percent of the residents. Officials think that poor English is bad for business.The campaign helps people differentiate between words like "ships" and "sheep."
(So vast herds of ships do not roam the Singapore countryside?)
Honolulu Lite on Sunday:
Old Story: A man asks a woman if she will engage in acts of physical affection with him for a million dollars. She says, sure. He then asks if she'll do it for $25. She angrily replies, "Do you think I'm THAT kind of girl?" He says, "We've already established what you are, now we are merely haggling over the price."New Story: Sun International Hotels asks the state if it will engage in exclusive acts of casino development for $300 million. Is cash-strapped Is Hawaii "THAT" kind of a state?
Quote me on this: "Never interrupt your enemy when he's making a mistake." -- Napoleon Bonaparte
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com