Honolulu Lite
I was considering putting my dog Boomer on one of our kayaks and setting him adrift off Kaneohe Bay, simply as a moneymaking enterprise, you understand, not because the knucklehead got me in hot water with the Hawaiian Humane Society when he fell out of the back of my pickup truck. How much is that
doggie in the tanker?Boomer is a mostly border collie poi dog we adopted from the Humane Society, the only animal up for adoption that day, as far as I could tell, that was not part pit bull. The pit bull mix dogs are actually more frightening than full-blooded pit bulls. (You haven't seen anything until you've seen a tiny, naked, shivering, snarling pit bull-Chihuahua.)
It's a fact of life that pretty dogs, or at least dogs that don't look like they'll rip your throat out, get adopted from shelters, and the mean, ugly brutes get "put to sleep." (Funny, Tony Soprano never has anyone "put to sleep." He has his henchmen "ice the scumbag.") I don't know how many dogs are "iced" at the Humane Society each year, but judging from the number of unadoptable mutts there, it's got to be quite a few.
It's an unnerving dichotomy that the Humane Society is a place where animals are both saved and sacrificed. But the folks who work there are protective of animals, which is why I got a personal note from society spokesperson Eve Holt when she learned that Boomer had fallen out of my truck. That's a lot of pressure, having the Humane Society looking over your shoulder, ready to jump on you for the slightest dog-vehicle mishap. (I suppose Holt wouldn't have learned of Boomer's accident had I not written about it. But, hey, when a columnist's dog falls out of a moving truck, I'm pretty sure it's mandatory that he writes about it.)
Holt's note actually was supportive. She praised me for taking Boomer to the vet. I think, had we met in person, she would have patted me on the snout and given me a dog treat.
I've had a long association with the Humane Society, even emceeing the opening of its dog park and running a Real Poi Dog Contest.
So I wasn't that surprised to hear that the Humane Society spent $50,000 to try to rescue a dog abandoned on a drifting Indonesian tanker recently. The dog, Forgea, was left behind after a cruise ship happened upon the disabled tanker and rescued the crew.
Some people were angry that the society would spend that kind of money on a mutt, especially considering how it "puts to sleep" dogs like Forgea all the time.
Personally, I found the rescue effort inspiring. I was inspired to break out my kayak and send Boomer to sea. He'd have to be worth twice as much as a dog from China. But I didn't. Not because Boomer wasn't game, but because I knew I'd eventually have to hear Holt say, "You've been a very bad boy!" and then she'd smack me on the nose.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com