Honolulu Lite
You have to feel sorry for Clayton Hee, chairman-for-the-minute of the Office of Hawaiian Affairs. Hee wants to be Lieutenant Governor and probably more. To do that he needs to project a public image of being a capable, coherent, adult leader. That's pretty much impossible from the zany offices of OHA, the state's most expensive play pen. Instead of helping Hawaiians, OHA meetings have become a perpetual game of musical chairs. (Or, with the legality of OHA being questioned, are they simply moving deck chairs on the Titanic?) Can Hee project dignity and competence while engaging in the political slapstick that has become a typical OHA board meeting? Maybe. But remember, Groucho Marx was king of the Marx brothers, but he was still a joke. Hee who laughs last,
stuck in OHANow the news:
Case of elf-incrimination
WAIKIKI (AloHa! Friday News Services) >> Thieves discovered the mythical "Pot of Stupidity at the End of the Rainbow" when they were caught driving around with a stolen Leprechaun in their car.Kelley the Leprechaun, a stuffed mascot, was stolen from the front door of Kelley O'Neil's Bar Sunday night. Cops pulled a car over later on a traffic stop and noticed Kelly, dressed in green coat and boots and wearing a top hat, in the back seat.
(And get this, as incredible as it may sound, it appears the thieves may have been drinking alcohol.)
Dress code fleshed out
LUSAKA (Reuters) >> Police arrested 20 members of Zambia's ruling political party after hundreds of youths stripped women naked for wearing mini skirts or trousers.The women were stripped in the capital by unruly mobs supposedly enforcing a government dress code against "suggestive and provocative" or "slut wear."
(While stripping one woman of her mini skirt, an enraged youth explained, "This kind of dressing is provocative and offensive and by stripping this woman of her garments I am, uh, er, hey, baby, what are you doin' after the riot?"
Actor all cooped up
MADRAS, India (Reuters) >> A popular Indian film actor crammed himself into a tiny cage to protest the eating of chickens.(Once caged, he was carried away by pro-chicken-eaters who said, "Quick! Set up the next cage! Another actor is coming!)
Honolulu Lite on Sunday: Thank God Kaimuki High School will allow students to wear clothes and jewelry depicting Satanism. If everyone dresses alike in public schools, how can you know who's carrying the firearms?
Quote me on this:
"Never send a man to do a horse's job." -- Mr. Ed
"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." -- Sam Brown
"Never lose your cigar cutter in your pocket." -- Martha Stewart (From Uncle John's Supremely Satisfying Bathroom Reader)
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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