Honolulu Lite
To paraphrase -- which is to say steal from, mangle and mutilate -- a quote by some famous dead guy: "It is not the job of a columnist to endeavor to create confusion, it is the job of a columnist to endeavor to protract confusion." Time to bury chainsaw
in columnist feudIt's taken several columnists working overtime to protract the confusion surrounding last year's visit to Hawaii of a Washington state journalist who later talked stink about our state in her newspaper.
You might remember that Karen Zacharias, a writer for the Kennewick, Wash., Tri-City Herald was visiting Hawaii on Sept. 11. With all airplanes grounded, Zacharias was stuck here, which gave her time to look around and notice, to her eyes anyway, that there weren't many U.S. flags flying. She returned home and wrote a column questioning the state's patriotism, or at least the patriotism of Waikiki shop owners. For this she was soundly thrashed in the press here and by many e-mails to her newspaper by angry Hawaii residents.
As Hawaii's recognized voice of reason (I am so), I defended the state's honor and asked residents to give Zacharias a break, since she obviously isn't what anyone would call a "worldly" correspondent.
The Zacharias episode was noted in The Columnist, the newsletter for the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, of which I am a former executive board member. Dave Lieber, a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram and NSNC secretary, wrote that I "counseled readers upset by (Zacharias') comment to 'show aloha, not anger' and to 'consider the source ... a frustrated, small-town reporter.'"
And this is where the confusion started. I didn't call Zacharias a frustrated small-town reporter. I called her a "frustrated, small-town squirrel reporter." To call someone a "frustrated, small-town reporter" is mean-spirited and petty, whereas calling her a "small-town squirrel reporter" is clearly merely a humorous, light-hearted jab.
I just received the January 2002 issue of The Columnist where Zacharias, in a long letter, protests my calling her a "frustrated, small-town reporter," mentioning the phrase three or four times.
I thought the whole episode was long over, especially since Zacharias and I have exchanged friendly e-mails during which I pointed out that NSNC editors inadvertently had dropped the crucial squirrel reference. She pointed out that ground squirrels are an endangered species and are serious news in Washington. As merely a small-island mongoose reporter, I will have to defer to her expertise on that.
The point is this thing has gotten way too confused. I'm sorry if I hurt Zacharias' feelings, but I had a little help from a couple of other columnists. I think it's time to bury the hatchet, or chainsaw, or whatever implement is buried in the land of endangered ground squirrels, to restore peace.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite