Talk Story
Editors stumble over
sneaky malapropismsAFTER three decades in the newspaper business, "Mamma Cass, sandwich victim" is still one of my favorite headlines in the accurate-but-bizarre category. It ran in my first newspaper, the News Journal in Wilmington, Del.
Last weekend, the headline might have been "George W. Bush, pretzel victim." Not since the April 20, 1979, "killer rabbit" attack on Jimmy Carter has the presidential person been so strangely threatened.
Given our current national paranoia, a White House announcement that the pretzel manufacturer is being investigated for possible links to al-Qaida or other terrorist organizations wouldn't lift many eyebrows. Wouldn't the Frito Bandito fit right in at Guantanamo Bay?
Newspaper headlines have long been a source of bemusement, if not humor. Condensing the gist of a news story into three to eight words is an art. Doing it while preoccupied by fast-approaching deadlines, computer crashes and other distractions is downright dangerous.
Anyone who's ever worked at a newspaper has a story about a memorably bad headline or other editing goof. Jim Romenesko of the Poynter Institute, a Florida journalism school, has complied a tasty collection. Many examples are merely scatological typos, but others are delightful malapropisms -- delightful, that is, when viewed at a safe distance from the copy desk.
For example, there's the Elyria, Ohio, Chronicle-Telegram's headline on a story about a woman who was injured at the Lorain County Fair: "Woman kicked by horse upgraded to stable."
When Chicago won the game, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram wanted to include the news that its star player was hurt in the headline. The result: "Jordan lifts Bulls, injures groin."
Belaboring the obvious is a common source of bad headlines. Consider these examples: "Specialist: Electric chair can be 'extremely painful'"; "Circumcisions cause crybabies"; "Man is fatally slain"; "Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say"; and "Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation."
Combining religion with ignorance also produces some gems. The Hollywood Sun-Tattler, commenting on the naming of the first Polish pope, was only a little off track with: "Vatican elects first non-Catholic pope."
A reporter from Minneapolis, unfamiliar with Roman Catholic funerals, confessed that he once wrote in an obit about a "massive Christian burial."
Then there's this nugget from the Los Angeles Times: "Disciples of Christ Choose New Leader."
When Yankee slugger Roger Maris died, an early edition of the tabloid New York Post reportedly included the headline "Maris traded to Angels."
Like other forms of primness, political correctness has generated its share of bloopers. Mark Madler of American Lawyer Media tells this story of PC run amok: "On Labor Day weekend in 1994, the Northwest Herald ran a wire story about the Smithsonian Institution's controversial exhibit on the dropping of the atomic bomb.
"The copy editor wrote this as the headline: 'Atomic Bombers Upset Over Enola Homosexual Exhibit.' Yes, that person actually thought the 'Gay' in Enola Gay referred to an alternative lifestyle."
Some bloopers are too perfect to be unintentional. The Asbury Park Press covered a campaign appearance by Jimmy Hoffa's son, James P. Hoffa, who was running for president of the Teamsters. Its headline was "Hoffa's son cementing union allies" and the subhead was "Hopes to fill shoes of famous father."
The Cincinnati Enquirer once ran a story about a proposal to build a new arts conservatory. In the early edition it appeared with the headline, "Citizens get shot at new conservatory."
The editors noticed the unintended double meaning, and tried to fix it for the next edition. The "improved" version: "Citizens get crack at new conservatory."
My first job running a newsroom was at the Marin Independent Journal in Novato, Calif. Since the big San Francisco dailies circulated heavily in our home county, we focused intently on local news. Usually that local emphasis was a strength, but occasionally it put the cart before the horse.
That was certainly the case when we headlined a crime story: "Local dog finds murder victim."
John Flanagan is the Star-Bulletin's contributing editor.
He can be reached at: jflanagan@starbulletin.com.