Don’t call him James

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They mean well, I'm sure. They're bank clerks, mostly, but there are others, too, trying to be friendly.

"Thanks, James."

That's what it says on my checks and driver's license, after all.

Trouble is, to my ears, James sounds stilted. Because, except occasionally for my mom and dad, no one else ever calls me that.

Many responses come to mind.

"Look, I know your boss has instructed you to call customers by their first names, but calling me James creates an air of artificial informality that emphasizes the fact that you really don't know me at all." But I don't say that.

"Please call me Jim," I say. Usually.

Once I was guilty of this exchange:

"Anything else we can do for you today, James?"

"Yeah, you can stop calling me James."

I tried to smile to show I was not a grouchy customer. But the clerk knew better.

--Jim Borg

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