Honolulu Lite
Here's yet another example of the weird interconnectedness of everything in the world: A bomb falls in an Afghan desert and a tasteless advertisement urging people to drink and drive is placed in a tourist publication in Honolulu. Phat ‘Drinking and Driving’
ad lands phlatThe ad headlined "Drink and Drive" appeared in the giveaway tourist publication "This Week." The deal was that if you rented a moped or some other vehicle from Phat Beach Rentals and presented the key at Arnold's Beach Bar and Grill in Waikiki, you'd get a free drink.
It was enough to make a MADD mother madder. And it wasn't long before Matt Szygowski, manager of Arnold's, was receiving angry calls.
"I had nothing to do with that ad," he said. "I've been a manager for 12 years and there's no way in hell I'd approve something like that."
Then how'd it get in?
An employee at Phat Beach Rentals wouldn't talk about the ad other than to say that it had caused at least one television news crew to come down and pester them about it. When I started pestering him about it, he hung up on me.
So then I called "This Week" publisher Stan Mulkey and the mystery was solved. The ad was placed by Randy Spears, owner of both Phat Beach Rentals and Arnold's. Ever since the attack on the United States and our resulting war against terrorism, businesses have been suffering in Waikiki. Spears was desperate to come up with an ad that could not be ignored. He succeeded.
Mulkey was embarrassed that the ad ran, because his employees are trained to screen out offensive material from ads. He's strict about what kind of businesses can buy ads. Unlike certain daily newspapers that will go unnamed, "This Week" accepts no ads from hostess bars or "exotic health spas," which police say are mostly fronts for prostitution. "This Week" will not even run any ads promoting "Happy Hour" drink deals.
Mulkey apologizes to everyone he can about the "Drink and Drive" ads. (He apologized to me about three times before I could hang up.)
It's all sort of a tempest in a beer stein. While the ad was stupid and politically incorrect, the businesses had a right to run it. There is nothing wrong with drinking and driving. There is only something wrong with drinking too much and driving. In fact, the state promotes drinking and driving by leasing land to drinking establishments at places like the Aloha Tower Marketplace, which even provides valet parking.
There are much more disgusting ads that could be run. And apparently, Phat owner Spears had one in mind.
When the "Drink and Drive" ad was pulled, he wanted to run one headlined, well, I can't tell you what the headline would have been. The term refers to a sexual act popularized by a former U.S. president which has since become the name of a particular bar drink. THAT ad would have been a bombshell.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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