My Kind of Town

by Don Chapman

Wednesday, November 14, 2001

Hormones on fire

>> Ala Moana Beach Park

As was his habit, photographer Johnny B. Goo arrived early for his assignment to shoot a falun gong group that practiced every morning at Magic Island. He liked to scout the scene. Thus it was that he was walking along the beach at the Diamond Head end of the park, his digital Nikon at the ready, when a WWII-vintage Japanese mini-sub surfaced with an Asian babe-ette in an electric blue swimsuit riding astride it cowgirl style. Yee ha. Johnny B's motordrive whirred as the sub beached itself.

He jogged down to the waterline for a closer view and immediately recognized the guy who was climbing on top of the sub with the babe-ette. HPD Detective Sherlock Gomes. Johnny B's photo of Gomes speaking with the amped out Sen. Donovan Matsuda-Yee-Dela Cruz-Bishop-Kamaka at a Makiki Heights home last night was on Page One of today's Star-Bulletin.

Johnny B continued to shoot as Gomes opened the sub's hatch and he and the babe-ette peered inside, then looked up in obvious bafflementation. "Where'd she go?" Gomes asked the babe-ette.

She shrugged, looked baffled.

"Anybody see where that naked woman went?" Gomes asked the crowd that had quickly gathered.

"Bruddah, if was one naked wahine, I'd've seen 'um," Shiro Matsuda, part of the Dawn Patrol group of seniors that had just finished their daily walk around the park, said with a sly chuckle. "An' wasn't no naked wahine."

"Yeah, but you wish," chided Dot Chang.

Just then two uniformed cops hurried down to the waterline, started moving the crowd back.

Gomes jumped down from the mini-sub, then reached up and helped the babe-ette down, but she slipped and kind of fell into his arms. Johnny B fired and caught a look between Gomes and the babe-ette, their wet chests pressed together. There was more than mystery in the air. There were hormones on fire.

Johnny B walked over, said hi to Gomes.

"Don't you ever take a day off?" Gomes said.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing."

Johnny B introduced himself to the babe-ette, asked for her name, learned she was Dr. Laurie Tang from the Queen's ER. Make that Dr. Babe-ette.

Everyone was so focused on the sub, nobody noticed one guy walking quickly out of the water and up the beach, cursing under his breath. Sen. Donovan Matsuda-Yee-Dela Cruz-Bishop-Kamaka had also seen the look between Gomes and Laurie, who was supposed to be his girlfriend. Gomes still had to go, but now for a different reason.

Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek.
His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin
with weekly summaries on Sunday.
He can be emailed at

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