View from the Pew
A look inside Hawaii's houses of worshipBy Mary Adamski
Saturday, October 6, 2001
The professional man dreaded an imminent business trip. The nationwide airports shutdown delayed his return from the last one, and he hasn't been home long enough for his family to feel secure again with the routine of life. Counselors ease lingering
trauma of attackThe clergyman said he and his peers jumped in immediately to do what they do, counseling and consoling people in need of help. They still have their own anger and sadness to confront and manage.
The graduate student was in a foreign country, stymied by language from hearing all the details. She's now in a delayed state of information overload which others experienced in the first week.
But before anyone at the "Coping With Trauma" session got around to telling about now, each had to tell about then. Everyone wants to tell where they were when they first heard about the Sept. 11 attacks.
Yes, do that, and be willing to listen to others tell you their tale, a team of professionals told the small crowd at Star of the Sea Church.
The psychologists and social worker from Catholic Charities led a free group therapy session at the Kahala church, and again in Aiea and Kailua later last week. It was an effort to help people through their very personal responses to the attack, reactions that are not finished even though weeks have passed.
"Talking about it over and over again fills a need," said psychological therapist Barbara Mullen. "It helps to normalize it."
Psychologist Claude McDowell said "people need to deal with their vulnerability" after the horrific event, which left Americans frightened as life seemed to spin out of control. A healthy next step after the talk is action, he said. "Offer support, get an action plan," the least thing that can restore some sense of direction. People who gave blood or made donations have taken a first step.
You're not being insensitive to enjoy a movie, a game, a lighthearted social occasion. "Rituals are part of routine, a way to express normalcy," said Mullen. "The flag-flying we're doing, that is a ritual, a satisfying way of expressing ourselves and bonding with others."
Clinical social worker Joseph Bloom said everyone needs to recognize that they are in the process of grieving. There are recognized phases that people can expect to experience: disbelief, anger, bargaining -- promising something to God or ourselves in exchange for things to be right again. Expect sadness and, finally, acceptance.
"Getting through a trauma isn't an event, it's a process," he told the crowd. Your friends or co-workers may be at a different step than you, but none of you is wrong.
If you're still angry, that's normal. "Anger is a healthy emotion. Embrace it," said Bloom.
Whew. That's a great relief.
RELIGION CALENDAR
Mary Adamski covers religion for the Star-Bulletin.
Email her at madamski@starbulletin.com.
