Honolulu Lite
Here's a quick true story to take your mind off of the horrendous headlines of the day: And now, some
completely pointless newsFour engineers are riding in a car -- a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down.
The mechanical engineer says, "Sounds like the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip the engine."
The chemical engineer says, "Sounds like the fuel's gone bad. We'll have to flush it."
The electrical engineer says, "Probably a grounding problem, we'll need to change the spark plugs."
They ask the computer engineer what he thinks.
"Hmmm," he says. "Maybe if we all got out of the car and got back in again."
One of the Star-Bulletin computer guys got a kick out of that story while he was figuring out why my printer wasn't working. He suggested turning off the computer and starting it up again. Natch.
Elsewhere on the frivolous news front:
Reality bites this senior
HANOI (Reuters) > A 95-year-old Vietnamese man who lost his teeth decades ago has begun to suddenly grow new ones. A newspaper reported that Nguyen Cong Du has begun growing both front and molar teeth.(Nguyen reportedly said, "Teeth? Teeth? I don't need teeth. Why can't I grow something I could really use, if you catch my drift.")
Fly swatter didn't work
GUWAHATI, India (Reuters) >> Officials probing the deaths of 18 elephants in a wildlife park last month say angry villagers killed them using pesticides.(The discovery of an empty 4,000-gallon spray can of "Raid! For Pachyderms" apparently broke the case for police.)
Whales caught in act
LONDON (The Times) >> One of the greatest mysteries of the sea --- the question of where blue whales, the largest animals on earth go to breed -- has been answered.Satellites tracked dozens of the whales to a little Motel Six just off Highway 5 in Trenton, New Jersey.
(Just kidding. Actually, they tracked them to a place off the coast of Costa Rica. And you can bet the whales are REAL happy everyone knows where they go to make whoopee now.)
Weird Web site: If you thought the joke that led off today's column was dumb and dull, you aren't alone. We found it at the Dull Men's Club website (dullmen.com). Hey, ladies, if you are into dull men, this web page is for you. Everything that makes a guy dull is captured here in it's exquisite dullness.
Honolulu Lite on Sunday: The mystery of movie titles, like, why do the heroes in "The Three Musketeers" use swords instead of muskets?
Quote me on this: "I am all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." Frank Lloyd Wright.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite