Honolulu Lite
ALBERT EINSTEIN SAID, "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Cars don’t kill people,
idiots who drive them doThere's hardly a better example of infinite stupidity than the idiots who race their cars on the freeways. Not that going fast in cars is always stupid. Dale Earnhardt killed himself driving in a fast car. But he wasn't stupid because he got paid a lot of money to race cars. It would have been stupid for him to risk his life for nothing. It would have been more stupid for him to put the lives of innocent bystanders at risk for nothing. Which is why road racing is dumb and dumber.
A well-loved and respected schoolteacher was the latest person to be rubbed out by one of these testosterone-saturated punks. Elizabeth Kekoa was on her way to church Sunday morning with her husband when a recent high school graduate engaged in an apparent road race with his fellow idiots killed her. The 19-year-old driver isn't evil, just stupid. The sad thing is that, stupid or not, he'll still wake up tomorrow. Mrs. Kekoa won't. And what if he hadn't crashed into the Kekoa family. What would he have won? Money? Fame? Prestige? Immortality? Nothing. He would have been just another idiot surviving his own idiocy without taking out anyone on the sidelines.
I'm old-fashioned. I think that risk and reward, not to mention risk and penalty, go hand in hand. That's why more people invest in bonds then rob banks. Sure, robbing banks is more exciting, but at great risk. Some people are willing to take that risk because the money's good. A lot of people think criminals are dumb. But you never see a criminal hold up banks just for the fun of it, leaving the money behind. (Wow! That was a great robbery! The guard almost shot me. I killed a couple of old ladies cashing their pension checks. And I didn't make a penny. Fabulous! Let's do it again next week. In fact, let's form a Bank Robbery Club! We'll compete to see who can rob the most banks, risk everything and not make one thin dime! Brilliant!)
The problem with evolution is that it is not perfect. Evolution should penalize the stupid, cleanse them from the gene pool. I don't wish anyone dead, but if it's a choice between someone doing something idiotic and someone being the victim of someone being idiotic, I say take out the idiot. Where evolution fears to tread, the legal system steps in. So now we'll be subject to outlandish new laws supposedly to protect the community at large but actually protecting the stupid.
One idea is for the government to seize the cars of speeders. So people caught going a few miles over the speed limit will suffer because of a few jerks who went 50 miles an hour over the speed limit. I've got an idea, why don't parents of these idiots seize the car? It's easy. You go out to your garage. If there is a $25,000 automobile tricked out for racing parked there, that belongs to your son, take his keys. And while you are at it, ask yourself how he affords such a car and insurance while flipping burgers.
Unfortunately, there's a scientific principle regarding genetics and evolution: The nut doesn't fall far from the tree. If a kid's so stupid that he races cars on crowded freeways senselessly risking his life and everyone else's, it's likely an inherited abnormality.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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