It takes a really big man ...

OK, I'm a fat man. If I looked down -- which I refuse to do -- I wouldn't be able to see my toes. Too much mac salad over the years. Too much sitting on my duff thinking great thoughts instead of working out at the gym. Don't rub it in.

I have a closet full of clothes that will never fit me again. But that's not the problem. The problem is new clothes.

Most guys in Hawaii are a bit smaller than the national average. And some of us are a bit taller and larger than the national average. When we go to the store our options run out real quick. Many clothing stores don't carry anything larger than 38 or 40.

So, in despair, I turned to a place I'll call The Giant Fatman Store on Ward Avenue, where the clothing ranges as large as 6XL.

I discovered that on the scale of giant fat men, I'm on the low end. That must count for something. But there was virtually nothing in my size there, either. Too big for the normal-sized stores, too small for the giant-fatman stores, that's my lot in life.

So long, mac salad. I'll miss you.

--Burl Burlingame

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