Honolulu Lite
News Flash: Every beach on the island of Kauai has been put off limits to residents and tourists because a psychotic Hawaiian monk seal and her adorable pup need more space. Kauai beaches get Monk
seal of disapprovalALO-HA FRIDAY
It could happen. And it should. Because, when it comes to protecting nature, even if it's only a single confused seal and her offspring, no extremes are too extreme. Oahu residents sit back smugly while Kauai tapes off some of its prime tourist beaches to protect the cute little critters. Won't it be fun to see what happens if a monk mom and pup waddle up onto Waikiki Beach? Members of the Hawaii Visitors and Convention Bureau would be chasing the varmints back into the water with baseball bats.
And while we are on the subject of confused endangered species, let's go to the news:
Life's a beach for turtle
SAN DIEGO, Calif. (AP) >> A conservation group tracked a huge green sea turtle by satellite to the Baja coast, where it ended up as an entrée at a village barbecue.Researchers initially thought the turtle's transmitter had fallen off when they lost signal. Then they discovered the wayward turtle had wandered onto someone's menu.
"It's kind of a drag to track a turtle for months and find out someone ate it," said wildlife biologist Wallace Nichols.
(Guess the Mexican villagers were fresh out of "Endangered Species, Do Not Harass" yellow tape for their beach.)
Joy of validated parking
Jerusalem (Reuters) >> Police detained a "beautiful blonde" naked woman in a Tel Aviv's Ben-Gurion International Airport parking lot.The woman had time to kill before flying home to Germany and decided to have sex with passing men, a police spokesman said.
After spotting her following a brief romp between parked cars, police questioned the woman and then released her, fully clothed, without charges.
(Apparently, she had not violated the "Three-minute, loading and unloading zone" rule.)
Weird Web Site:
Celebrate Easter in August at the Easter Egg Archive (http://www.eeggs.com). An "Easter egg" in this case is any tidbit that creators hide from the public in their various creations: software, movies, books, etc. Alfred Hitchcock cast himself as an "Easter egg" by appearing anonymously in the background in his movies. This Web site provides a lot of bizarre eggs, like the fact that the initials of the bad guy in all of Stephen King's books is R.F. and if you hit certain buttons on a HP Scanjet scanner, it will play "Ode to Joy."
Honolulu Lite on Sunday:
Flamin' Pop-Tarts! Woman sues after burning down house with toaster. How we can douse the wildfires of silly lawsuits that are sweeping across the country.
Quote Me On This:
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: The chicken was 'involved,' the pig was 'committed." Author Unknown.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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