Honolulu Lite


Friday, August 10, 2001

New UH prez plants
tongue in cheek

In a recent Honolulu Lite I poked fun at University of Hawaii President Evan Dobelle's penchant for coming up with endless new ideas for improving the university. It seems every day he comes out with another big proposal, from building a new stadium to starting a film school. What's next? I suggested that, among other things, he's mulling over cloning Tiger Woods' DNA to field a world-class UH golf team and buying Harvard University to open up a Way, Way East Manoa Campus.

I received an e-mail from Dobelle saying, "I'm furious over the Tiger Woods DNA leak. Next, I suppose, someone will tell you about the Guam skybridge and how we'll market UH as only a walk away."

It's kind of inspiring that a guy getting nearly a half million bucks a year to run a university would take time to personally respond to some little column and to poke fun at himself. More inspiring were the typos the message contained. (Hey, even the president of the university can't spell, so get off my back!) I do, however, have a uneasy feeling that he wasn't kidding about the Guam skybridge deal.

And now the news:

Ping Pong in Hong Kong

HONG KONG (Reuters) >> A container packed with more than a half a million Ping Pong balls burst into flames, apparently because of the sweltering heat. No one was injured although bystanders had to dive for cover.

(This was the worst environmental disaster since a train loaded with a million Nerf balls derailed in Jersey, uninjuring thousands of people.)

Was it the Wicked Witch?

WICHITA, Kan. (Reuters) >> Thousands of corn stalk leaves fell mysteriously from the sky here over the weekend.

Meteorologist Chad Pettera said of the husky rain, "I think it is very odd," because there had been no cases of tornadoes, thunderstorms or high winds, which usually are responsible for such phenomena.

(Thousands of Wichitawans were extremely uninjured by the harmless raining vegetable material. Will these environmental disasters ever cease?)

Weird Web Site

Our continuing search for examples of the extreme waste (or at least the entertaining waste) of perfectly good electrons led us to The Reflex Tester Game ( On this site you test how fast you are on the mouse draw. As soon as a color flashes, you hit the mouse button. You are then told how fast your reflexes were. (Best I did was .39 of a second). This site is a brilliant waste of time, although in very small increments.

Honolulu Lite on Sunday

Should "Creationism" be taught in public high school science classes? The problem is that, other than organisms, most "isms" don't show up well under a microscope.

Quote Me On This

"I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better." A.J. Liebling.

Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail

The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:

E-mail to Features Editor

Text Site Directory:
[News] [Business] [Features] [Sports] [Editorial] [Do It Electric!]
[Classified Ads] [Search] [Subscribe] [Info] [Letter to Editor]

© 2001 Honolulu Star-Bulletin