Make It Easy
Make It Easy
Want your kids to be successful grownups? Hey, how else will they come back and support you when you are old? And where else will we find useful, intelligent employees to keep things moving along in our society? Parents: Our future work
force is in your handsSet aside your notions about wanting them to always "like" you and create some parameters for them that will insure success.
Lesson 1: Kids need discipline. Parenting experts say that kids do bad things in order to get their parents to wake up and start acting like parents. Teen Television is full of parables about parents who forgot their responsibilities and tried to be their kids' "best friends," or who were too permissive. We may see kids complaining about strict parents, but at the end of the show, the kids understand strictness is a form of love.
So, how do you discipline? Too many people think discipline includes hitting.
Not so. If good discipline is in place, you rarely have to shout, and don't need to raise a hand.
Good discipline teaches kids the difference between right and wrong. It shows them that all actions have consequences. It teaches that there are other feeling, thinking beings walking around on the planet. It makes them accountable, and it doesn't allow them to blame others for their dumb mistakes.
Start simply when they are young. (Actually, just start NOW). Create a tradition of regular family meetings that are short, fun and instructional.
Then, if you need the meeting to correct misbehavior, they'll show up! Hold the meetings regularly. We started when our kids were 5 years old. Now when we call "Family Meeting," they show up immediately.
Together with the kids, create a weekly chart showing each child's chores. Make sure the child is trained to do the chore, knows the expectations, and understands that you will be checking each week to see how they are doing. Then, keep your word and check up! (They will learn about making and keeping promises from you, and they will model what you do.)
Next week, a few more ideas that will make your life at home easier!
Beth Terry is president of Pacific Rim Seminars.
This column is excerpted from her upcoming book,
101 Ways to Make Your Life Easier. Send questions
on management, customer service and other issues
to beth@bethterry.com.