CRAIG T. KOJIMA / CKOJIMA@STARBULLETIN.COM
At Royal Hawaiian Shopping Center, about 10 students
showed up for ukulele classes Wednesday. Megan
Pieper, and Sydney Schalit, both from Texas, laughed
a lot as they tried to keep up with the chord changes.
The students were taught by Pua Keala Mann.

Uke dreams

Wainani Yim gives a free
introduction to the instrument
weekdays in Waikiki

---

By Scott Vogel
svogel@starbulletin.com

There is a Ukulele Hall of Fame, located not in Hawaii but in Duxbury, Mass., (naturally!) although the achievements of islanders are not completely neglected. King David Kalakaua has been honored for his championing of the instrument, as was Samuel Kamaka, the celebrated ukulele-maker. Other inductees include Cliff Richard, better known as the voice of Jiminy Cricket in "Pinocchio," and Ms. May Singhi Breen, a sheet music pioneer who is known simply as "the Ukulele Lady."

One name that will not be added to that list anytime soon is my own, despite my rather prodigal performance during Wainani Yim's group ukulele lesson at the Royal Hawaiian Shopping Center this past Tuesday. (By the way, the shopping center and one of its tenants, The Ukulele House, sponsor these free introductions to the instrument with various instructors each weekday morning.)

And now I'm going to set my pen down for at least two hours, the bloody scab on my index (i.e., plucking) finger having once again opened up.

(Long pause ensues.)

CRAIG T. KOJIMA / CKOJIMA@STARBULLETIN.COM
Richard Scott, of Tampa, Fla., and Erica Takamatsu,
of Japan, strum away during lessons at the Royal
Hawaiian Shopping Center.

To continue, there have been few instances in the history of Hawaiian ukulele pedagogy (which is admittedly rather short, the Portuguese having brought the diminutive music-maker to the isles in 1879) when a musician has so completely bonded with an instrument, as I have with the ukulele. In fact, I would love to describe my feelings upon first cradling the thing in my arms, but will refrain, not wishing to make young women blush. I will say only that when our group of 25 (mostly Japanese and California tourists) struck up "Pearly Shells," and Yim shouted "C7th!," and we all adjusted our fingering, and we finally got to the part about giving someone a kiss for every grain of sand upon the beach -- well, I guess it's obvious what I was thinking of kissing.

What a great thing it is to discover that what you once thought was kitsch isn't really kitsch at all but the genuine article. Chances are, running into Reese Witherspoon at a Starbuck's might one day induce the same feeling, but until then there is only the uke. Or the uke and Yim, with whom I quickly developed a relationship vaguely reminiscent of the one between Shirley MacLaine and her pupil in "Madame Sousatzka."

Unlike that harridan, however, Madame Yim was never cruel. In fact, her gentle smile instilled perfect confidence in the entire class from the start. After a brief introduction ("my dog has fleas," that kind of thing), Yim taught us a few chords and -- presto! -- we launched into a not-bad version of "The Hukilau Song." This may not strike you as a formidable achievement, but this was a class who didn't know its laulaus from its kaukaus a few minutes before. "Give yourself a hand," Yim commanded and we happily complied.

Seated next to me, a rival for Madame Yim's favors, was Mutsumi Takasa, a tourist from Northern Japan whose devotion to island culture left me with distinct feelings of inadequacy. The Polynesian Cultural Center has nothing on this woman, who spends her days drifting from hula instruction to ukulele lessons, and soon will no doubt be coming to a fire-knife dance class near you. Takasa is, in short, a jack-of-all-Hawaiian-trades and quite precocious in this regard. She is to be complimented on her lightning-fast ability to move from D7 to G7 during the vamp sequence that opens "Lovely Hula Hands." I will now speak no more of her.

Flush from my success during the lesson and eager to make an investment in my fledgling ukulele career, I immediately rushed off to a nearby ABC store, where for $9.95 I was able to purchase what may well be the most untunable ukulele ever manufactured. After extensive consumer testing, I can tell you that this instrument remains in tune for approximately 1.5 strums, after which you will likely sound like Leon Redbone on a bender.

Which may come as welcome news to some of this town's celebrated ukulele players who, for the time being at least, can breathe a sigh of relief that their competition is playing with a clear handicap.

But if I were you, Jake Shimabukuro, I'd watch my back.

Ukulele lessons What: Ukulele lessons at the Royal Hawaiian Shopping Center When: 11:30 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; 10 a.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays Where: Royal Hawaiian Shopping Center, 2201 Kalakaua Ave. Cost: Free Call: 922-2299

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