Honolulu Lite
The National Education Association, the giant teachers organ- ization, is offering murder insurance for educators killed while teaching. What's next? The National Rifle Association offering education for those hurt while shooting? I think if you work for an organization that has to provide homicide insurance, it's time to find another job. I wouldn't want murder insurance. I'd want "Charles Bronson Revenge Insurance." If I get shot, I want my insurance to pay someone to hunt down and take care of the guy who killed me. Teachers to get
killer insuranceAnd now the news:
Talk about trunk damage
BANGKOK (Reuters) >> Elephants roaming the streets of the Thai capital will be confiscated from their handlers after a series of traffic accidents. The elephants are brought into the city by their owners, who use them to beg money. There have been 15 elephants injured in road accidents this year.(Obviously, the leash law just ain't working.)
Monks finally get over it
ATHENS (Reuters) >> Greek monks have agreed to lift a century-old curse on an island village to "never sleep again" for bringing the wrath of the Ottoman Empire on their monastery. Monks in the Mount Athos community have been chanting the curse every year since Ottoman forces killed most of their brothers on the island.(The monks denied they were lifting the curse because, basically, it never actually worked. Villagers, nevertheless, were happy the curse will be lifted and said they will celebrate by taking longer naps.)
No can hear, Gere in ear
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (Reuters) >> Police have seized a quantity of the latest accessory to hit mobile phone-mad Malaysia: plastic covers featuring pictures of naked celebrities with flashing private parts. The phones are modified to light up the naughty bits when a user receives or makes a call, police said.(The Julia Roberts version also says, "Hey, buster, watch where you're dialing!" when you hit certain numbers.)
Weird Web site: Should the toilet seat be left up or down? One of life's most perplexing questions is finally answered at Porcelain Palace (tornadohills.com), a Web site dedicated to the seat of ease. Tastefully done, at least as tastefully as a site dedicated to toilets can be, Porcelain Palace addresses all toilet-related issues as well as featuring famous people and toilets, toilets in movies and notable toilets. The answer to the toilet seat question is ... well, flush it out on your own.
"Honolulu Lite" on Sunday: How to protect a controversial U.S. Supreme Court justice's right to free speech and make sure he doesn't have any fun in Hawaii while he exercises it.
Quote me on this: "My choice early in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell you the truth, there's hardly any difference." -- Harry S. Truman
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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