Honolulu Lite
Hawaii chef Roy Yamaguchi didn't get to go to battle in the first American episodes of that bizarre Japanese cooking show, "Iron Chef," which is just as well. The local kid is good, but I'm not sure he's ready for full-contact culinary combat. Preparing Chef Roy
for prime timeThey filmed two episodes of "Iron Chef" recently in Las Vegas and Yamaguchi, whose food-fight handle is "Iron Chef Asia," wasn't chosen to fight.
But Larry Thompson, executive producer of the American version of the show, thinks it will become weekly series and says Yamaguchi will be one of the permanent Iron Chefs.
If you have never seen "Iron Chef," let me try to explain it. It is sort of a "Battlebots" meets "Junk Yard Wars" meets a mud fight between Emeril Lagasse and Martha Stewart. Like "Battlebots," two chefs meet head to head on the field of battle. Like "Junk Yard Wars" the two chefs have to make something fantastic out of bits and pieces of stuff just lying around. On "Iron Chef," the bits and pieces could be lobster, squid, Kobe steak or shrimp eyeballs.
The chefs have 60 minutes to create several dishes in a stadium-type arena. A panel of judges watches every second of the preparation while an on-field announcer scurries around and says things like, "Fukui-san, Iron Chef France has just added turtle roe to the frog-foot broth!" The Japanese show is dubbed in English, or I should say, poorly dubbed in English, making it sound like an old Godzilla movie.
The show became so big in Japan that American producers took notice. Then came a couple of highly touted showdowns between American chef Bobby Flay and Japanese chefs. At the conclusion of the first match, which took place in the United States, Flay grossed out and angered his Japanese contender, not to mention all the judges and most of Japan in general, when he climbed up on the counter and started jumping on his cutting board. This in-your-face, post-game gloating was really ugly-American kind of stuff. Worse yet is that to Asian chefs, the cutting board is sacred. You'd no more dance on a cutting board then dance on your mother's grave, or lasagna, for that matter.
Flay lost that battle but won a rematch in Japan, in which Hawaii-born sumo champ Konishiki was a judge.
With an American version of the show in the works, Roy Yamaguchi will get to be one of the gladiators. He needs help.
Roy's a nice, calm guy so he's going to have to release his inner samurai to kick butt as an Iron Chef. Here are a few pointers, Roy:
When they blow the starting horn, body slam your opponent into the steam table and race to grab the best of the secret ingredient. If you think your opponent is winning, sneak up and give him a serious wedgy. Add caviar to every dish, including dessert. If Konishki is a judge, triple his serving. Finally, if you must jump up and down on the cutting board, take off your shoes.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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