Honolulu Lite
The most hair-raising thrill ride I was ever on was when I was a youngster in the family car with my mom driving while trying to light a cigarette and yelling at us kids to shut up and sit still in the back. Hold onto that
wheel, not the phoneMom wasn't the greatest driver in the world, thanks in part to her somewhat impaired sense of direction. Trying to find the BX -- the military version of a department store -- on an air force base in Georgia she managed to drive us onto an active flightline -- the military version of where planes land and take off. This was around the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis and the planes were all on alert, armed with nasty-looking missiles.
The flightline was on high security, and my brothers and I assumed that the base police had shoot-to-kill orders, which is why we started to scream even louder and cry for our mother to, dear God, please stop the car. I have never figured out how she managed to drive undetected onto an active flightline, but that's what it was like to take a ride at Six Flags Over Mom.
Mom was ahead of her time when it came to driving a car while simultaneously conducting other non-driving-related business.
Today, the car is not so much a mode of transportation as a movable office, makeup room, restaurant or entertainment center. You see people reading books, applying makeup, eating plate lunches and fiddling with the CD/radio while zipping along at Mach 1. And of course, there are people talking on cell phones.
With all the extra-curricular activities under way in the cockpits of automobiles, it's funny that only the cell phone has become the bugaboo.
New York City has made talking on the phone while driving punishable by a $100 fine. Other states, including Hawaii, can't be far behind.
I'm against people talking on cell phones while driving, in the same way I'm against people doing anything while driving except driving. As I've said before, I think being in command of a 4,000-pound chunk of steel hurtling down a highway is responsibility enough.
But if you start banning cell phone use in cars, you have to take a look at other activities that are just as dangerous. I'll bet if they did a study, cell phone use contributes to fewer accidents than applying eyeliner. At least when you're on the phone you can look at the road. When you are applying eyeliner -- so I'm told -- you are looking at the eyes you are lining, not the road lines you should be eyeing.
I'd also bet that auto air conditioning is responsible for crashes. When you have the windows down, you hear the sounds of life whizzing by and feel the wind in your teeth, giving you a sense of speed. With the windows up and air conditioner on, you are in a cocoon, your senses dulled.
There are plenty of things other than cell phones to ban if you are going to start eliminating driving distractions. I'm sure my mom would have been a better driver -- and military bases more secure -- had screaming children been banned from moving vehicles.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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